Chapter 7: A Thread Between Life and Death

To the world, you may be only one person; but to someone, you are the whole world.

Lu Huaining gave a soft smile and said, “Come here. I have something to tell you.”

They gazed at one another tenderly, as though the world had been reduced to just the two of them.

Elder Lady Lu did not wish to intrude. She rose, stepped out of the hospital room, and pulled the door shut behind her.

Seeing that the extra company had gone, Lu Huaining drew her into his arms and pressed a gentle kiss to her eyelid, saying dominantly, “No more crying. Your eyes are swollen like walnuts. If you cry them blind, how are you supposed to count money then? Little miser, I’m going to be fine. Give me some time.”

She heard his teasing, yet could not smile. Only a pang of soreness filled her heart. He pinched her cheek and said, “But I don’t like a mistress with puffy eyes. If you want to stay by my side and count money, then rest properly, smile more, and do not cry. Understand?”

His own body was being tormented, yet he still wished for her happiness.

“Mm.” Xue Zuinin suddenly opened her arms and wrapped them tenderly around his waist, burying her face against his broad chest. In a low voice, she said, “Huaining, I’ll be good to you from now on.”

“How good?” Lu Huaining stroked her hair, resting his forehead against the crown of her head, and let out a soft laugh.

“Just very, very good...” In her heart, Xue Zuinin silently made a promise: she would love this man well, even for the share her mother had never been able to give.

Lu Huaining kissed her dark hair. “I’m sleepy. Go tell Grandma for me to sleep well. Her health was never good to begin with, and she’s been worrying herself over me, so she mustn’t exhaust herself. You should rest early too. If you stay and sleep with me like you did last night, maybe I’ll recover faster.”

“Mm.” She kissed his brow and smiled faintly.

He released her. Watching her rise, straighten her clothes, and walk out of the room into the outer area, he noticed the door was not locked. Her soft voice drifted in faintly. He listened for a while, but in the end could not resist the pull of sleep and sank into a deep slumber.

With Lu Huaining’s condition now under control and the recurring bleeding from yesterday no longer present, Elder Lady Lu’s tightly strung nerves finally eased. The strength she had been forcing herself to maintain vanished in an instant. At this point, she was no longer anything more than a weary elder. After hearing Xue Zuinin relay Lu Huaining’s concern, she felt much better and lay down on the sofa in the outer room. Xue Zuinin asked a nurse to bring a blanket over. Only after the old lady had fallen asleep did she go back to Lu Huaining’s side. Elder Lady Lu watched her retreating figure, silent and thoughtful.

That back was so familiar, as though it were Zhong Yilan from those years ago.

Xue Zuinin washed up briefly, returned to Lu Huaining’s side, and lay down. Carefully, she covered them both and held his arm, her whole body wrapped in his scent, feeling only warmth.

This man loved her; she knew it, and she was unwilling to let him down.

She could not sleep. Her fingers lightly traced his cheek, then moved down along his neck until they came to rest over his stomach. She did not dare place her whole hand’s weight there, afraid of putting any pressure on him. The tense position left her arm sore, yet she still did not want to move her hand away. She had suffered stomach pain before too, not serious, yet unbearably hard to endure. He had vomited so much blood—how much pain had he been in?

At that time, he must have been thinking of her, far away across thousands of miles, yet she had been unable to feel the pain of the one she loved.

She did not know when she fell asleep. Early the next morning, the doctor came in, and he still had not woken. She hurriedly got up to let the doctor examine him, washed her face, and then went out to buy breakfast for herself and Elder Lady Lu. After the two of them ate in silence, they went to check on Lu Huaining. Seeing that his complexion had improved somewhat, they both felt better.

Elder Lady Lu turned to glance at Xue Zuinin and said, “Miss Xue, come outside with me. We need to have a proper talk.”

Some matters cannot be avoided; what must be resolved can only be met head-on.

At those words, Xue Zuinin felt as if her heart had been lifted by a thread and left swaying in midair. Quietly clenching her fists, she followed Elder Lady Lu into the outer room and sat facing her.

Time passed in silence, yet both understood without needing to say it.

A person of Elder Lady Lu’s lofty station was naturally used to strict standards in all things. Because she had been worried about Lu Huaining, she had arrived and never changed her clothes. They were wrinkled from sleep, and her complexion was not good either. Xue Zuinin feared that once Elder Lady Lu had calmed down, she would be displeased in every possible way.

But by now, this was no longer something personal power could alter.

Xue Zuinin could already sense Elder Lady Lu’s first impression of her. Even before they had ever met, she understood how, when people dislike a person or a thing, they unconsciously magnify every flaw. She lifted a hand to tidy her hair and could only resign herself to it. Since it had come to this, she would take things as they came.

Yet Elder Lady Lu’s gaze upon her was very calm, even carrying a trace of gentleness, which surprised her.

Xue Zuinin steadied her breathing, kept her smile proper, and waited quietly for the other woman to speak.

“Yesterday Huaining told me everything. Many of the facts were truly beyond my expectations. First, I should apologize for his disgraceful behavior, and on behalf of the Lu family, I should also apologize to you and your mother. Though I understand that no apology can make up for the suffering you endured.”

Xue Zuinin was somewhat startled, then replied, “This was not your fault. It is embarrassing to be apologized to by an elder, when I am the junior.”

“It seems Lanlan really did raise you very well. She was always a generous person; it was I who judged wrongly.” Elder Lady Lu sighed softly and said with remorse, “I am the one who failed in discipline. In the past, I truly neglected Huaining. Our so-called marriage was only in name, with no real affection. Worse still, I concealed the truth of Huaining’s birth mother from him, so his father was always distant toward him, and the woman called his mother only showed warmth on the surface. That is why we were so strict with the child, even harsh, demanding excellence in both studies and conduct. It is true that we gave him far too little of the concern a child needs. That he developed such a cold, proud disposition is our sin.”

Xue Zuinin lowered her eyes, remembering how he had once mentioned in passing that when he fell ill as a child, he had to take his own medicine, and the servants merely watched the master’s mood; no one truly cared for him. Her heart grew faintly sour.

“I do not wish to interfere too much in the two of you. After all, as a grandmother, I only hope for my grandson to live well.” Elder Lady Lu let out a deep sigh. Her gaze lingered on the door to the inner room, then returned to Xue Zuinin, looking at her intently. “Miss Xue, our two families once had quite a connection. I made mistakes before, and this time, I think I cannot afford to make the same mistake again.”

With age comes age of heart as well. No amount of struggle matters anymore. What she longed for was only the joy of a house full of children and grandchildren.

Xue Zuinin opened her eyes wide and looked at Elder Lady Lu. Her heart was beating wildly. Faced with such magnanimity, she did not even know how to respond, how to explain her disappearance of four years without a trace.

After a long silence, Elder Lady Lu said, “I do not want to bring up the rights and wrongs of the past again, and I trust you understand the difficulties of standing where the Lu family stands. Anyone in your position would be innocent too. Besides, Huaining owes you. Even if he spent a lifetime repaying that debt, it would still be his responsibility. Since he cannot live without you like this, I will not make things hard for you in the future. I’m only telling you all this today to let you know that the matter between you and Huaining still cannot be made public for now. After all, Huaining’s engagement to Wanyi still stands. If it is exposed now, it will hurt the three of you. We should think it through carefully before deciding on a plan.”

Xue Zuinin pressed her lips together. “I understand.”

Elder Lady Lu sipped her tea, trying to calm the turmoil in her heart. After a while, she said again, “I heard that you are married.”

Xue Zuinin was startled, but could only nod. Seeing the chill in Elder Lady Lu’s eyes, her heart gave a sudden throb.

The shadow on her face lasted only an instant before she quickly recovered her composure and gentleness. Looking at her, she said, “I believe you must have your own difficulties too. I only ask that you do not hurt Huaining again.”

After thinking for a moment, Xue Zuinin replied, “I understand what you mean. Regarding my own matters, I will deal with them as soon as possible and will not bring you unnecessary trouble.”

Elder Lady Lu nodded. “If you need anything, just say so. Huaining and I certainly will not stand by idly. The Lu family may not command wind and rain, but we still have abilities worth trusting.”

“Thank you, Elder Lady Lu.” Xue Zuinin echoed with a smile, yet her heart did not waver. For many things, this was enough.

Elder Lady Lu’s expression softened somewhat. “Miss Xue, if you want to walk this road with Huaining, there are still many things you must face. Family is one aspect, and Huaining carries many responsibilities. Naturally, the person beside him cannot be a woman who only knows how to remain at home and raise children. I am not asking you to possess the same ability to command the whole situation as he does, but you must integrate into his world. Formal social occasions are not like the scenes in television dramas, where people merely flaunt jewelry and gowns. Connections are built amid clinking glasses and shared toasts. Heads of state go abroad with their wives; you have heard the term ‘spouse diplomacy,’ haven’t you?”

Thinking of her younger self, Elder Lady Lu instructed her earnestly, “Improve yourself and support your husband. Though it sounds exhausting, if you do not, the distance between you and him will only grow greater. Two people may fall in love through a moment of passion, but lasting love depends on cultivation. Life with Huaining will never be the sort of romantic, flower-strewn existence young girls imagine from wealthy families. Be prepared for that.”

“I understand. Thank you for the reminder.” If this had been four years ago, Xue Zuinin might indeed have feared such a life, but now she had long since learned to face it calmly.

Elder Lady Lu said, “For now, endure a little longer. Once Huaining has recovered, I will find a suitable opportunity to make your relationship public. I will be rather busy in the near future, so Huaining will be in your care. The two of you can interact as husband and wife normally, adjust to each other, and see whether you truly suit one another. I am reserving judgment for now, but please understand my concerns. As an elder, I only hope the children live happily, and happily for a long time, without dramatic rises and falls.”

Xue Zuinin knew this was already a tremendous concession from Elder Lady Lu, and every word she said was reasonable and beyond rebuttal. After careful thought, she smiled and said, “Please rest assured. Since I have decided to be with Huaining, I have naturally prepared myself to face whatever difficulties may come in the future. Moreover, I will strive to improve myself and stand beside him, rather than shrinking behind him and relying on his protection forever.”

“That is enough if you can think that way. You’ve had a hard time. If you need anything, call me directly. If it is inconvenient, you may call the housekeeper instead.” Having said this, Elder Lady Lu handed over the contact information and then went to look once more at her sleeping grandson.

If everything now was punishment for the rights and wrongs of the past, then perhaps letting go was the best way to atone.