Brother Sixty-Six, come pick a beauty.

Cultivating Immortality with My Best Bro Prankster 3830 words 2026-03-31 11:44:01

Luo Yu had a vague suspicion in his heart but still asked, “Why?”

The vampire replied, “You know, humans are also descendants of the gods. Individually, they may not be formidable, but they can still cause some trouble. In the Eastern way of putting it, humans cannot cultivate spiritual or yin energy, but their divine sense—in our Western terms, spiritual power—is also a formidable force. Eastern humans have never systematically practiced it, but Western humans, influenced by the Church from a young age, engage in prayer. During prayer, the human spirit becomes highly focused, generating a kind of intentional force. In the West, this is called ‘the power of faith,’ and it is directed to the object of their prayers. Though I’m not too familiar with this energy, I know that the old ones use it to empower themselves—it’s akin to celestial spiritual force in the Western heavens. However, in my analysis, this ‘power of faith’ is unreliable. If one day, no one prays anymore, the Western heavens would be finished.”

Luo Yu suddenly understood: this ‘power of faith’ must be what is called ‘incense power’... If the power of faith is generated by human spirit, then what about spiritual energy? How is it produced? Could it, too, one day vanish? And if it did, what would happen to cultivators?

As these thoughts crossed his mind, Luo Yu felt a mounting pressure. Why did the great cultivators of the past disappear? Could it be related to spiritual energy? Spiritual energy tends to concentrate in places with few humans—could it be that humans have destroyed it? Isn’t it said that humans have damaged the environment? But thinking further, that didn’t quite make sense... The great cultivators fell thousands of years ago, when humans were not yet capable of significant environmental destruction... What was the real reason? He resolved to investigate this one day. Otherwise, he too might follow in the footsteps of those before him.

Having made a mental note of this matter, the vampire grew impatient, urging Luo Yu to research the ‘sunlight vaccine.’

Through his studies, Luo Yu discovered that vampires harbored a kind of ‘virus’ within them, remarkably similar to ‘Soul Adhesion No. 1,’ which fused the vampire’s soul and body together. This virus could endlessly replicate until saturation was achieved in the body. It was the reason vampires could heal themselves: it could convert yin energy into restorative power, and the virus’s self-replicating function allowed it to spread via blood and toxins. It also blocked the spiritual meridians of the soul, making cultivation impossible. However, it could store yin energy, strengthen the vampire’s body, and prevent yin energy from running rampant. The so-called vampire ghostfire did not originate from the dantian but from the virus itself; as it absorbed yin energy, it accumulated power, forming ghostfire.

It was highly likely that this virus was developed after ancient powers had researched fierce ghosts and zombies. If it were completely removed, the vampire would die—for vampires were already dead, and without the virus’s support, their bodies would turn to dust. As for the soul, Luo Yu observed that not every human left behind a ‘complete soul’ after death—only those with spiritual roots did. This was why ghosts could cultivate. As Luo Yu did not yet understand why ‘humans without spiritual roots’ could only form scattered souls, he had no confidence in preserving the vampire’s soul intact.

Since the virus could not be expelled, the only solution was a vaccine. Luo Yu proposed two methods: one, extract the existing ‘Corpse Vaccine No. 1’ from zombies and experiment with it. This vaccine was not fully evolved; if successful, it would only count as repairing the ‘sunlight immunity system’ and would still require further evolution. The second was to cultivate a zombie fully resistant to sunlight, then extract its vaccine for experimentation. However, the complete ‘Corpse Vaccine No. 1’ only worked on the physical body and had no effect on vampires. It would need to be modified into a ‘semi-virtual’ vaccine to truly cure a vampire’s fatal weakness to sunlight.

The vampire insisted on pursuing both options at once. The vaccine was to be extracted and cultivated immediately, hoping it would evolve to perfection in the petri dish.

In the blink of an eye, it was late October. The sunlight vaccine for the vampire had yet to succeed, but there was a breakthrough: Luo Yu managed to make the zombie baby entirely unafraid of sunlight, and its resistance to light-based spells increased by fifty percent. Luo Yu requested leave from the vampire: in November, the annual Foundation Establishment Cultivators’ Market was about to begin. He and Qin Yue intended to join in the fun.

This year’s market was the Xianyou Fair, held by Dance Cloud Manor in Phoenix Perch Valley. Luo Yu and Qin Yue came prepared with a generous supply of spirit stones, planning a shopping spree. Both had gone without pills for a long time; Qin Yue could still sneak into the great formation to absorb some spiritual energy, but she was far from reaching the peak of early Foundation Establishment. Luo Yu was even worse off—his cultivation was about the same as when he’d first reached Foundation Establishment. Meanwhile, Luo Li’s cultivation had already surpassed them both. After Foundation Establishment, the levels were no longer as complicated as during Qi Refining; now they were simply early, middle, and late stages. Upon reaching perfection, one could ascend to the next realm.

Foundation Establishment cultivators could easily spend a month in closed-door meditation, so to ensure everyone could attend, the market lasted for a whole month.

By mid-November, Luo Yu and Qin Yue traveled on colorful clouds to the gathering. To keep a low profile, they both dressed in ancient attire and donned long wigs to hide their modern origins.

Phoenix Perch Valley was set in the perpetually spring-like climate of Yunnan, amidst vast stretches of primeval forest, known as the “Kingdom of Plants.”

To enjoy the tropical rainforest, Luo Yu and Qin Yue flew at a lower altitude, weaving through the ancient trees. The foliage was lush and vibrant, shining from the abundant rainfall; thick vines coiled around the giant trees, weighing down their branches precariously. All manner of snakes, insects, and beasts roamed the forest, and even wild elephants could be seen.

Deep in the forest, they entered the boundary of Phoenix Perch Valley. Once inside, the scenery transformed: towering ancient trees arched into colossal umbrellas, the space beneath as grand as a palace, filled with iridescent light. Swarms of butterflies danced in the air; the ground was carpeted with flowers, and peacocks and other birds strolled about, occasionally spreading their wings to glide through the forest in dazzling arcs of color.

Luo Yu admired the sight, “The people of Dance Cloud Manor must be perfectionists. Of all the towns I’ve seen, only they have made even the outskirts of their boundary so beautiful.”

Qin Yue replied, “With both peacock and phoenix bloodlines, vanity is inevitable.”

Luo Yu chuckled, “There must be many beauties here.”

Qin Yue ignored him, pulling him along.

Beyond the primeval forest was a sea of flowers, where the trees had golden trunks and bore only blossoms in shades of purple-red and yellow, without a single leaf. The branches were crowded with clustered blooms, drawing swarms of bees and butterflies. The deeper they went, the sturdier these spiritual trees grew, and soon, they spotted elegant windows and doors set into the trunks—evidently, people lived inside.

Luo Yu exclaimed in surprise, “Treehouses!”

Qin Yue observed for a while and said, “These might be ‘Phoenix Parasol’ spiritual trees. Legend has it that the phoenix clan loves to perch here, drawn by the grain of the wood and the fragrance of the blossoms.”

Luo Yu nodded in realization.

By now, they could see numerous demon cultivators coming and going—most seemed to be native bird demons: the male cultivators were flamboyantly dressed, making the females seem quite plain by comparison.

Seeing the men in their colorful garb, Luo Yu buried his face in Qin Yue’s arms, quietly laughing: big men wearing rainbow-colored clothes, with feathers in their hair—what a sight! They looked like drag queens.

Still chuckling, they left the Phoenix Parasol grove and were greeted by waves of laughter and chatter. They had reached a valley with vast plazas and lawns, where groups of demon cultivators sang, danced, played flutes, and shook bells, paying no mind to the curious gazes of human cultivators.

At the far end of the valley, exotic buildings rose, their golden spires shining like towers. The white walls were intricately carved with openwork designs, revealing hanging curtains of purple, gold, and blue within. Even the jade stairs were adorned with elaborate patterns of phoenix feathers. These buildings stretched halfway up the mountain, set against a sea of pink and purple flowers, like a vision of paradise.

In the center of the complex ran a broad white jade avenue, flanked by elegant pools with fountains in myriad shapes. The avenue led straight to a magnificent palace, above whose doors hung a plaque: “Dance Cloud Manor.”

The Xianyou Fair had already begun, filling the avenue with crowds and stalls of every size. The two of them eagerly joined the throngs, but after hours of browsing, found few herbs for increasing cultivation. Instead, they bought Qin Yue a handful of body-strengthening and auxiliary medicines. The artifact refining materials were far superior to those at previous markets, and they spent lavishly on spirit stones. Reaching the gates of Dance Cloud Manor, having combed through the entire street, they decided to find lodging for the night.

Just then, a commotion broke out nearby. Curious, they turned to see a crowd gathered beside Dance Cloud Manor, uncertain of what was happening.

“Let’s have a look!” Luo Yu said, pulling Qin Yue toward the crowd. After much effort, they managed to squeeze in: before them stood a flower-decked stage with a towering floral arch. A sign hung overhead, reading “Beauty Contest.” Several peacock demon cultivators stood on the platform, one of them announcing loudly, “Dance Cloud Manor always keeps its word! Today is the last day to register—don’t miss your chance!”

The audience erupted in excitement, several rushing to the “registration desk” nearby.

Luo Yu, thoroughly intrigued, stopped a cultivator and asked, “Senior, what’s going on here?”

Seeing that Luo Yu was an extraordinarily handsome human cultivator, the man replied enthusiastically, “Dance Cloud Manor is hosting a ‘Beauty Contest’ with truly generous prizes! With your looks, young man, you shouldn’t miss out!”

Luo Yu asked, “What are the prizes?”

The cultivator replied, “The rewards are abundant—herbs for increasing Foundation Establishment cultivation. The beauty champion will receive a tail feather plucked by Dance Cloud Manor’s Nascent Soul Ancestor.”

Luo Yu said, “Isn’t that just a feather... can it be used for artifact refining?”

The cultivator thumped his chest dramatically, “You couldn’t be more wrong! Don’t you know Nascent Soul demon cultivators are exceedingly rare? Now that the great powers have fallen, it’s almost impossible to find Nascent Soul-level materials. This peacock tail feather has been refined by a Nascent Soul cultivator’s energy for a thousand years. If used skillfully, it may even endow an artifact with the peacock clan’s innate divine power—the ‘Five-Colored Divine Light.’ It’s a priceless treasure! If the people of Dance Cloud Manor heard your ignorance, they’d have words with you!”

Luo Yu’s eyes lit up: A superb artifact? Five-Colored Divine Light? That would be perfect for the cat! And with my looks, why not enter the contest and get it? Even if I don’t win first place, some spirit medicine would be nice!

He looked up to see Qin Yue’s expressionless face. Luo Yu leaned in to study Qin Yue’s features: My comrade is quite handsome too, let’s both enter!

Qin Yue asked, “What are you thinking?”

Luo Yu replied, “The prizes are generous—I have to join! What’s the big deal? Just stand on stage and let people look at you for a while, and you get a pile of good stuff. Nothing to lose! Objections are invalid!”

Author’s note: Dong Dong threw a landmine; Ling Dian threw another landmine.
T.T Thank you, two landmines! There will definitely be a second update today!
Comrade Immortal Cultivation Chronicle 66—Free full text reading of Comrade Immortal Cultivation Chronicle—Brother 66 is going to enter the beauty contest!