Slipped up in the gutter.

Cultivating Immortality with My Best Bro Prankster 3776 words 2026-03-31 11:54:21

Qin Yue's eyes were bloodshot as he fiercely suppressed a violent urge. If he were to give in to nature and hack away blindly, he would likely end up falling into a deviation driven by the sound of the zither.

Seeing the female cultivator make a move, several nearby cultivators immediately attacked without a single moment of hesitation. Flying swords, five-element rings, cold flames, and spiritual insects swarmed toward the pair from all directions.

Although the music did not cause the young couple to hallucinate, the intense emotional shock severely dampened their analytical and reaction capabilities, catching them completely off guard.

Unable to mount an effective defense, the two were left in a disheveled and battered state within moments, their flesh torn apart in patches by the biting insects.

Luo Yu was filled with an urge to throw a tantrum and go mad, a feeling strong enough to nearly strip him of his sanity. Fortunately, more than a decade of practicing the Clarity Secret Art had not been for nothing. Now, whenever he wished, he could maintain complete lucidity within dreamscapes, refusing to be manipulated by his subconscious. The control he had forged over his reason and emotions had become second nature, and a sliver of calmness always remained in the depths of his mind. As powerful as the zither music was, it could not entirely submerge his consciousness.

Centering his mind and gathering his spiritual focus, Luo Yu gritted his teeth and thrust toward the female cultivator. In an instant, the zither music stopped abruptly. Qin Yue waved his hand, sending forth a blindingly bright beam of white light that swept around them three times. Following two screams, the two male cultivators wielding the flying sword and the five-element rings plummeted straight toward the ground.

The remaining two male cultivators were terrified at the sight. Before they could even figure out what the white light was, their companions' magic treasures had already been split right down the middle.

Before they could react, Qin Yue spat out a ball of golden flame, which swept toward the spiritual insects on their bodies like a whirlwind. These spiritual insects were as large as walnuts, shaped like scarab beetles, with thick, tough carapaces covered in interwoven gold and silver dark patterns. Their mouthparts featured a pair of pincer-like mandibles, making them look fierce and bloodthirsty. Because the young couple had not managed to activate their protective divine abilities in time, most of the wounds on their bodies were inflicted by these vicious bugs.

As soon as the golden flames arrived, the spiritual insects flew up from the two to evade them. After slightly avoiding the brunt of the wind, they tested the air with their mandibles and plunged right back into the flames to continue biting, showing absolute fearlessness toward the true fire of extreme yang.

"Ha!" The female cultivator had recovered by this point, letting out a resentful, cold laugh. "How do you like the taste of these gold-melting rock insects? It took me three years of pleading and trading with the Ancestor of a Hundred Spirit Insects to acquire them, specifically for today's battle!"

Tangled in a chaotic mess by these ferocious bugs, Luo Yu finally seized the opportunity to transform back into a phoenix. He had originally thought that having the Nirvana True Fire and golden armor would make him invulnerable, but to his surprise, these exotic insects were not only unafraid of his true fire, but they also abandoned his flesh and swarmed all over the golden armor, chewing on it ravenously as if it tasted much better than meat.

Seeing that his beloved armor had been chewed full of holes, Luo Yu could not help shouting, "Are you out of your minds? Who is your husband? When did we ever kill your husband?"

The female cultivator was momentarily stunned before she burst into crazed, hysterical laughter. After laughing for a while, she gnashed her teeth and spat, "Six years ago, at the battle of Langhai Plain, my husband was murdered by your kind! His soul was scattered, his consciousness destroyed, leaving neither form nor ghost behind! I should have accompanied him back then instead of surviving to be forever separated by life and death! This enmity, this hatred, is irreconcilable! Day and night, I yearned and longed for the day the two of you would leave the island alone. Today, without that demonic fox to help you, I will take both your living souls to sacrifice to my deceased husband!"

With that, her slender fingers brushed against the konghou, and a desolate, mournful melody flowed endlessly once more. This time, the emotional undertone was indescribably sorrowful, filling the heart with inescapable pessimism and despair. Waves of heavy fatigue washed over their minds, making them feel as though the future was hopeless and life worse than death, until they simply wanted to pick up a blade and end it all.

Luo Yu was naturally soft-hearted. Under the influence of the melody, he could only focus on passive defense, completely unable to muster the spirit to counterattack the female cultivator. Qin Yue, on the other hand, had previously struggled to suppress his violent impulses due to his nature, but this time he desperately gathered his spiritual focus, struck the woman once more, and seized the momentum to smash her konghou into dust.

The konghou was the female cultivator's natal magic treasure, and its destruction caused severe damage to her soul, sending her tumbling down toward the ground in a daze.

The remaining two male cultivators felt a faint sense of dread. What was wrong with these two? Fairy Pidan's "Konghou Attraction of Demonic Thoughts" enjoyed a formidable reputation and could even bewilder Void-Transforming cultivators; how could the willpower of these two Nascent Soul cultivators be this unshakeable?

Luo Yu could no longer spare attention for the two male cultivators. He urged anxiously, "Hurry up and poke these bugs to death! The armor is almost eaten away!" Before long, even he would be completely devoured by them!

Qin Yue frowned and suddenly spat out another ball of flame—transparent, silent, and exuding an icy, chilling aura that instantly enveloped the entire swarm of insects. This time, it was the true fire of extreme yin.

Luo Yu cried out in despair, "Fire doesn't work, use the scorching..."

Before he could finish shouting, he saw that as the yin fire passed, the spiritual insects curled up their legs and plummeted downward one after another. They were completely dead!

Qin Yue's slender hand reached out smoothly, channeling spiritual power to scoop up all the falling spiritual insects and store them away in the Zhaomu Bracelet. "These insect carapaces will certainly make fine materials for refining artifacts."

Luo Yu stared blankly. "Eh... Why did this fire work after all?"

Qin Yue replied calmly, "Although these spiritual insects possess strong physical bodies, their souls are another matter entirely. Naturally, they perish the moment they are burned."

Luo Yu fell silent. He had completely forgotten the property of the extreme yin fire: while it had little effect on a living cultivator's physical body, it inflicted devastating damage on spiritual entities. Although it would be blocked by a cultivator's protective spiritual power in a duel, dealing with mindless spiritual insects was effortless.

Seeing that the general trend was lost, the two nearby cultivators turned on their heels and bolted far away. Qin Yue's gaze turned sharp, and the figures of the two fleeing cultivators suddenly froze before they tumbled head over heels out of the air.

A crowd of onlookers had gathered outside the battle circle to watch the spectacle. Seeing two Nascent Soul cultivators inexplicably plunge from the sky, they were all struck with utter terror. Could these two be hidden masters? Void-Transforming stage? God-Integration stage? Oh mother! To be beaten into such a miserable state by Nascent Soul cultivators—how utterly humiliating! If they realized they had been watched the entire time looking so disgraceful, would these experts kill them to eliminate witnesses in a fit of rage? While that black-robed immortal was busy collecting the unlucky bastard's cold flames... they had better run!

Having finished watching the excitement, the group immediately stepped on their magic tools and scattered to the winds.

Though Luo Yu and Qin Yue felt thoroughly humiliated by capsizing in the gutter, they convinced themselves (through sheer self-hypnosis) that others didn't know they were actually in the Void-Transforming stage, and maintained completely natural expressions.

After gathering the spoils, the two flew down, placed restrictions on the five captives, and dragged them to a secluded spot outside the city to wake them up for interrogation.

"Awake? If you're awake, talk honestly. Where did that beast Wulin run off to? Where is his lair? If you don't speak, don't blame this lord for being ruthless and letting you experience what it feels like to have your muscles dissected piece by piece while you're still alive!" Luo Yu stepped on one of the male cultivators' chests, threatening him with a vicious expression.

The cultivator's face was covered in blood—he was one of the two whose magic treasure had been split in half. Wearing a stern expression, he spat a mouthful of bloody foam at Luo Yu. "Demonic phoenix! You murdered my elder brother! Since I've fallen into your hands today, do you think I would wag my tail and beg for mercy? Do whatever you will with me!" With that, he closed his eyes, ready to embrace death.

Hearing this, the female cultivator laughed approvingly. "Well said!" She turned her venomous gaze back toward Luo Yu. "Vile beast! Your hands are stained with blood; how can your conscience ever rest? Even if we perish at your hands today, we shall one day transform into inner demons to haunt you, making sure you can neither live nor die in peace!"

Although Luo Yu had always respected women, he was infuriated to the core by this woman. How could my conscience not rest? Are you out of your damn mind?

He shouted angrily, "I don't care who your husband was, but since he was killed by us on the Langhai Plain, he thoroughly deserved it! Those murderers indirectly caused the death of my younger sister, and I wish I could kill them a thousand times over! Why aren't you blaming them for coming to do harm, instead of blaming me?"

The female cultivator froze for a moment before letting out a miserable laugh. "So what? My husband still died at your hands, and that is all that matters! My only regret is that I foolishly refused him out of a moment of misplaced kindness. Had the two of us gone together, how could a vile beast like you have lived until today?"

Luo Yu was so angry he was speechless. This woman's sense of right and wrong had been completely warped by obsession; she was utterly unreasonable!

Seeing this woman curse Luo Yu as a "vile beast" over and over again, Qin Yue looked composed on the surface, but a killing intent had long since risen in his heart.

"Misplaced kindness and a refusal? In other words... that group of people once invited you to join them as well." Qin Yue shook his head with a tone of pity. "Since you refused, you must have long known that your husband's actions were improper... If you had persuaded him back then not to commit evil deeds, how could you have ended up in today's plight? All of this stems from a single moment of hesitation on your part, which ruined your partner's life... Yet today, you shift all the blame onto others. Truly pathetic and lamentable."

He cast a cold glance at the female cultivator, noting her bloodshot eyes and venomous expression, then chuckled softly and continued slowly, "The true culprit who slew your husband is not the two of us, but that carefree nine-tailed fox residing on the island. Your husband was swallowed by it as a mere snack... Surely you knew this? Yet you feared its formidable magic power and dared not seek revenge against it. Feeling guilty toward your dead husband, you had no choice but to take it out on the two of us. Am I wrong?"

Qin Yue's words were like sharp daggers, every sentence hitting home, every word piercing the heart, driving the female cultivator to the brink of madness. "Shut up! Stop talking nonsense! How could I possibly let that demonic fox go? I am merely letting it enjoy a few more days of peace! How could I allow it to roam free in this world... Never! Never!"

Qin Yue said indifferently, "Self-deception. You play the konghou quite well; even a Void-Transforming cultivator would find it difficult to resist. If you were truly bent on revenge, how could you lack even a sliver of a chance of winning?"

"You... You're lying! The deep affection between my husband and me is not something you can measure with your petty speculation! Shut your mouth!"

Qin Yue sneered, "What goes on between the two of you is indeed none of this lord's concern. Let me ask you this: where is that black dragon right now?"

The female cultivator stared hatefully at Qin Yue without uttering a word. The one pinned beneath Luo Yu's foot remained equally unyielding, showing no signs of submission. The remaining three looked at each other hesitantly for a moment. Among them, the cultivator who had used the cold flames said tentatively, "This humble cultivator was merely hired by this fairy to assist her and has nothing to do with the black dragon you speak of... Might Your Excellency raise your hand and let this humble cultivator depart? I can immediately swear an inner demon oath never to seek revenge against the two of you in the future." With that, he nudged the other cultivator who used the five-color rings and signaled him with his eyes.

Understanding the hint, the five-color ring cultivator, despite his heavy injuries, lowered his posture as well. "I... I was also merely hired by another. I beg Your Excellency to show mercy and spare our lives."

Though their request sounded somewhat whimsical, it was not out of the norm in the Eastern Divine Nation. It was common for cultivators here to take money to eliminate disasters for others. Unless the target was exceptionally ruthless, employers and hired hands generally did not push things to absolute annihilation—the world was round, and who knew if they might need to earn some extra cash or hire help themselves one day?

Qin Yue coldly glanced at the two of them, suddenly reached out to gently sweep his palm over their heads, and after a moment, spat out a single word: "Scram."

The complexions of the two turned ashen. Trembling, they helped each other up, hurriedly swore their oaths, and bolted away as if they had seen a ghost. The moment that black-robed man's hand touched their heads, they had felt something cool probe deep into the depths of their souls, weaving bizarrely through their secret memories like shadows cast by a flying horse, clear and penetrating down to the smallest detail—family, emotions, secret techniques, wealth, experiences, preferences... Every single thing they had fought to conceal was ruthlessly dug up and exposed, leaving nowhere to hide.

Both of them felt cold all over, their limbs weak, knowing full well what had just happened: they had been subjected to soul-searching. Although they were physically unharmed, the terror gripping them was ten times worse. That sensation of having one's mind and body controlled, with every inner thought completely exposed... For this person to conduct soul-searching on Nascent Soul cultivators so nonchalantly, leaving no aftereffects on the two victims whatsoever—with such formidable spiritual awareness, how could he be anything less than a God-Integration stage expert? That damned, foolish woman had actually treated an expert of this tier as an equal to be ambushed! Her eagerness to court death was one thing, but she had dragged them down with her!