Chapter 81: The Trouble Caused by Real-Name Registration

The scene before Ling Mo was almost enough to shatter his worldview. He could hardly believe his own eyes and couldn't help but ask again, “What did you say you’re doing?”

“Replying to posts, obviously!” Anton replied with a hint of impatience, his colossal head—easily over a thousand meters—swaying slightly. “Don’t distract me. Every time I talk to you, I nearly lose my place! The screen humans made is way too small; I get dizzy reading the words every time. Hold on, I’m almost done with this sentence.”

“…What kind of post are you replying to?” Ling Mo was silent for a long time before finally forcing out a question.

“I saw a thread in the Mage’s House forum,” Anton explained, “comparing the strengths and weaknesses of various forbidden spells. The post claimed the fire forbidden spell ‘Heaven’s Destruction’ was the most style-over-substance—impressive meteor shower, great visuals, but terrible accuracy. As a fire magic expert, I obviously couldn’t let that slide. So I replied with a spell control model, saying the problem wasn't with the spell but with poor control. Then this guy with the ID ‘My Dad Is an Archmage’ kept arguing with me, saying my spell model was complete nonsense! When he ran out of arguments, he started nitpicking and called me a theorist who couldn’t fight in real life, challenging me to a duel!”

As he recounted this, Anton’s aged voice was tinged with aggrieved indignation. “I told him I couldn’t leave my home, and he called me a coward, all talk, a keyboard warrior, and a shut-in! I was so furious I wanted to fire a ‘Heaven’s Destruction’ right in his face! Coward? Come to the Beasts’ Rainforest, and I’ll smash your head in, how about that?”

“Heh… heh heh…” Ling Mo gave a dry laugh, at a loss for how to respond.

Seeing Ling Mo fall silent, Anton continued, fuming, “Call me a shut-in, fine, but calling me a shut-in guy is too much. I’ve birthed so many children—I’m female, thank you!”

So this was the real issue? You’re actually female? After interacting with you for so many years, I’m only finding out now! Ling Mo thought to himself, feeling somewhat awkward. He said, “Old friend, it’s been years since we last met—you’ve gotten pretty trendy. I remember you never used to mess with this stuff.”

“Well, I only started playing with it in recent years. It's actually quite fun, and lying around here all the time is boring anyway.” Anton absentmindedly answered as she continued poking at the screen.

“But where did you get access to the Arcane Web? Even I don’t have that privilege.”

“Why wouldn’t I have access?” Anton snorted, pointing at herself with the stylus. “Was it decades ago, or centuries? I lose track, I’ve slept so long. When that old Deva released the ‘Arcane Web’ super forbidden spell, he borrowed my magic power. Otherwise, with only his own mental strength as an Archmage, he wouldn’t have managed the super forbidden spell.”

Caught off guard, Ling Mo was stunned by this revelation and asked, “Is that so? We’ve known each other for years—how come you never mentioned it?”

“What’s the point in telling you? You’re just a musclehead, with nothing but muscles even in your brain, and you don’t understand magic at all,” Anton replied with an expression of perfect disdain. “Besides, though I’ve had access for a long time, I was always asleep and never used it. After I woke up last time, my kin told me a bunch of turtles in the tribe had come down with mumps and asked me what to do. How would I know?”

Her tone turned a little smug, “I racked my brains for days, then suddenly realized—I could look it up online! So I registered an account and posted a thread called ‘What to do if the turtle colony gets mumps, urgent help needed.’ Not long after, a bunch of major turtle breeders replied, and following their methods, I quickly solved it. Since then, I’ve been using the internet all the time.”

Ling Mo wasn’t the type to make sarcastic remarks, but hearing Anton’s story, he felt a thousand retorts stuck in his throat, unsure how to voice them. After a long pause, he finally said, “Well… never mind. What’s your ID? When I get out of the Beasts’ Rainforest, I’ll register an account and add you.”

Unexpectedly, Anton’s spirits lifted at this. She spun her several-hundred-meter-wide screen to face Ling Mo, circled something in the upper right corner with her stylus, and boasted, “Here’s my ID—check out my avatar, cool, right? My kid spent ages setting up this shot for me. Loads of people online ask me how I edited the image!”

Ling Mo stared, dumbfounded, at the red circle. Inside was a massive magical image, shot from above at a forty-five-degree angle. The background was a vision of doomsday: lightning, volcanic eruptions, chaos everywhere. In the center, Anton was captured mid-dive, eyes glowing red, mouth half-open, about to unleash a blazing ‘Solar Impact’—the next instant, it looked as though it would blast out and annihilate everything. The pose was so fierce and majestic it was almost over the top, and next to this awe-inspiring avatar was a golden, gleaming ID: “Anton,” the characters so bright they nearly blinded Ling Mo.

After a long, silent moment, Ling Mo blurted, “Old friend, you use your real name online?”

“Don’t mention it! That was such a humiliating mistake,” Anton admitted, embarrassed. “When I first went online, the continent’s Arcane Web had just switched to a real-name system. When registering, the backend required a real name. I had no idea about front-end or back-end, so I filled in ‘Anton’ for both the ID and the name. The registration kept getting rejected—three times! In the end, I had to pull some strings to get it done.”

“…Who did you ask for help?”

“Deva’s son, of course! After Deva died, among human mages, he’s the only one I know.” Anton’s tone grew a little regretful. “Since I can’t move around easily, I had my child, ‘Furman of the Void,’ go find him. Furman’s an honest kid—didn’t even disable combat mode. Teleported right to the guy’s front door and cornered him in the yard…”

“That’s enough, I can imagine how that went…” Ling Mo raised a hand, covering his face, genuinely feeling sorry for the Archmage’s son. “Old friend, one question—when the octopus from the Demon Plane descended, I knew you’d step in, but I never expected you to use an orbital ion cannon. You still have permission for that thing?”

“The orbital ion cannon doesn’t use up my own magic. With a body this size and such huge energy needs, I conserve wherever I can,” Anton said matter-of-factly. “As for permissions, actually, I’m still one of the Arcane Web’s main relay stations. All the signals from the Beasts’ Rainforest region, and transcontinental exchanges, are routed through me. Haven’t you been doing live streams lately? Ever wonder why the video never lags, even in the wild? Whose credit do you think that is? In this whole rainforest, I’m the highest-level administrator. Controlling a satellite is no big deal.”

Ling Mo was astonished. “You even know about livestreams?”

“Of course! I watch your livestreams every day. If I had a bank card, I’d even tip you,” Anton complained. “Not having a bank card is a real hassle—so much paid content I can’t access. After that last incident, I’m too embarrassed to bother Deva’s son again…”

“…”

(P.S.: My goodness, I finally got to use the joke I set up in the first four chapters—I’ve been holding it in forever. I planned this scene back while writing the first chapter; I wonder if anyone guessed magical beasts could register on the Arcane Web? There are so many setups in the first four chapters, especially the first one, which I revised for a week. The deepest setup won’t pay off until over three hundred chapters later. If you’re interested, try and guess! Also, the author has been updating as fast as a beast for days—please vote and add to your favorites!)