Chapter 29: Useless Allies

"What is so hard to understand about this?" Dongmei cursed Zhang Chen under her breath. "Marriage is a major life event, dictated by the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers. Most newlywed couples in our Great Ming only meet a few times before the wedding, yet they go on to live very happy lives. Master, once you and the Young Mistress spend a few days together, you will start to feel that connection, and it will only grow stronger."

"You know quite a lot, don't you, Dongmei?" Zhang Chen put on a fierce look and glared at her. "Let me tell you a little secret: I actually have a terrible temper. I love to hit people, especially in bed. I like to use whips and candles—things you probably wouldn't understand."

He turned his gaze toward Tian Yachun with a lecherous smirk. "That noon, when you threw the silver notes on the ground and treated me like a beggar... Dongmei, I think I’ll be beating and scolding you quite harshly in the future, maybe even abusing you. And you, Little Tian, I’ll likely be abusing you in bed with whips and candles. Are you scared?"

"This servant will listen to whatever my husband desires." Zhang Chen’s demeanor was too terrifying; Tian Yachun’s voice trembled. "Your concubine—no, your wife is not... I am not afraid."

Over the past two days, Tian Yachun had apologized to Zhang Chen several times, always in public. Since one cannot kill a man more than once, Zhang Chen decided to forgive her. He reached out and touched her cheek. "Fine. Tonight, after we drive back the Japanese pirates, we shall consummate our marriage and I will show you just what I am capable of..."

"Enough!" Tian Yayi, a notorious young scoundrel of Fushan County, was well-acquainted with the uses of whips and candles in the bedroom. After watching the spectacle for a while, he stepped forward and cursed Zhang Chen. "You won't let my sister Yachun return to the county seat, and you want her to stay here in Zhang Village to be killed by the Japanese pirates? Zhang Chen, you are truly despicable! Yes, my sister made mistakes in the past, but she caused you no real harm. On the contrary, you’ve turned a misfortune into a blessing and become much smarter..."

More than an hour ago, as he approached the county seat, Tian Xuewen suddenly realized his daughter, Tian Yachun, had not followed him. "Where is Yachun? Why didn't she come back? Zhang Chen won't let Yachun return to the city, yet he lets his concubine, Xia Hua, go there to hide from the pirates and bandits. Zhang Chen is going too far!"

Earlier at Zhang Village, Zhang Chen had called the Lady Zhao a madwoman and a shrew—despite her being his mother by law. This was an act of unfilial defiance and a disgrace to the scholarly tradition. Zhang Chen’s temper was volatile, and Tian Xuewen feared that Zhang Chen intended to use the hands of the pirates to kill his daughter. The more he thought, the more terrified and furious he became, until his rage boiled over.

Blinded by anger, Tian Xuewen stopped at a village by the road, borrowed brush and ink, and dashed off a painting. Then, he wrote a scathing article in one breath. He instructed his dear nephew, Tian Yayi, to return to Zhang Village to bring Tian Yachun home.

Now, Young Master Tian Yayi produced the document, crumpled the paper into a ball, and threw it into Zhang Chen’s face. "Zhang Chen, forget about your dreams of consummating the marriage with my sister tonight. My uncle has written a divorce agreement, and my sister Yachun has officially separated from you!"

The paper hit Zhang Chen’s left cheek and fell to the ground.

"What!?" Zhang Chen and Tian Yachun exclaimed in unison, both lunging for the paper.

Quick-witted and agile, Zhang Chen grabbed the paper first and retreated several steps. He dodged Tian Yachun’s grasping hand and let out a loud laugh. "Hahaha! What a stroke of luck—it took no effort at all! My father-in-law has dissolved our happy, blissful marriage without my consent. How wonderful—I mean, how truly regrettable!"

As a matrilocal son-in-law, the Tian family held the advantage in the marriage. A single document from Tian Xuewen was enough to annul it. Zhang Chen looked over the agreement, unable to hide his smile. "I’m going to the community school to have your hundred retainers escort you back to the county seat. Goodbye, Little Tian!"

"Impossible! My father would never write a divorce agreement." Tian Yachun chased after him. "Husband, let me see it. It definitely wasn't written by my father."

"We are both old foxes, Little Tian, so don't play these games with me," Zhang Chen laughed. "This time, our fate is truly severed. Spilled water cannot be gathered; you should go find a good man to marry!"

Tian Yachun, who had never read the storybooks Zhang Chen alluded to, only wanted to snatch the document and tear it to shreds. She tried to seize it by force, but Zhang Chen nimbly dodged her. Passersby on the street turned a blind eye and hurried away.

"Little Tian, we are divorced! Men and women must keep their distance now—I’m going to start shouting for help!" Zhang Chen ran toward the school. Lacking his strength, Tian Yachun couldn't snatch the paper, so in her desperation, she lunged at him and bit him.

She let go and, taking Dongmei with her, returned to Zhang Chen’s house to pack her things, preparing to head back to the county seat. Since the divorce agreement existed, it would be improper for her to remain in the village.

"Why are you following me? Get lost!" Tian Yachun cursed the trailing Tian Yayi. "My husband and I were nearly reconciled, but you egged my father on to write this! I don't have a cousin like you, get out of here!"

"Young Mistress, Zhang Chen... well, the Master is cold on the outside but warm on the inside," Dongmei whispered to herself. "He was just trying to scare us earlier, but there was no malice in his eyes. He had already forgiven you; he was just joking about the bed, but the Master and Young Master were such pig-headed teammates, they’ve ruined everything!"

Tian Yachun had bitten Zhang Chen, leaving a row of tooth marks on his right cheek that bled. Last night, she had bitten his left cheek in the same way. Now, the marks were finally symmetrical.

Pulling out a handkerchief embroidered by Xia Hua to wipe the blood, Zhang Chen cursed Tian Yachun and headed off to inspect the gunpowder workshop. Once he reached the school, he ordered her hundred retainers to escort her back to the county seat, and then he stepped inside the workshop.