Chapter Nine: You Want Me to Change My Name? Not a Chance

At dusk, Li Xubai finished work. Not wanting to spend money on a carriage, he insisted on walking home on foot. By the time he arrived, night had fully fallen.

“Second Brother is back! Come quickly, you must be tired. Dinner’s ready, come eat,” Li Yunnuan cheerfully arranged the dishes and set the bowls and chopsticks, even serving rice for Li Xubai. “Second Brother, try my cooking.”

A wave of emotion stirred in Li Xubai’s heart.

His parents had been distant; since he could remember, he had never truly felt familial love. His heart had always been harder than most.

Yet, crossing into this place had given him a family, a sense of long-lost kinship. Though life was hard, his heart softened.

He took a bite, his face lighting up with surprise. “This is your cooking, Yunnuan? You’ve grown up.”

Song Shiyu, unusually, did not wear her usual stern expression and chimed in, “Indeed, Yunnuan is a young lady now.”

“Second Brother, how was work today?” Li Xizhang asked anxiously, well aware that his second brother had been a scholar and was somewhat naive about the harshness of the world. He worried that Li Xubai might be taken advantage of.

“Pretty good,” Li Xubai replied as he ate. Intending to let Li Xizhang and Li Yunnuan understand life’s difficulties, he recounted what had happened at the bustling carriage station that day.

Unexpectedly, Li Xizhang and Li Yunnuan showed little reaction, but Song Shiyu’s response was intense.

“What did you say? The Empress Dowager went to the Ten Thousand Buddha Temple?” Song Shiyu exclaimed, dropping her chopsticks.

Li Xubai was puzzled. “Yes, not only the Empress Dowager but also the daughters of several prominent families in Bianliang city went. Why? Is something wrong?”

“N-no, nothing,” Song Shiyu suddenly regained composure, picking up her chopsticks and wiping them, shaking her head expressionlessly.

But inside, she was far from calm; her emotions surged.

She clearly remembered that in her previous life, the Empress Dowager had also gone to the mountain temple to worship Buddha at this time of year, accompanied by noble families from Bianliang. Back then, she was too young to pay attention or understand why the Empress Dowager went to worship.

After a moment’s thought, Song Shiyu asked, “Second Brother, do you know why the Empress Dowager is fasting and worshipping at the Ten Thousand Buddha Temple?”

Li Xubai nodded. “They say it’s because the Yuqing Zhaoying Palace burned down. The Empress Dowager is fasting and worshipping to appease Heaven’s wrath.”

He spoke with disdain in his heart.

People of this era were superstitious; when a fire broke out, they should investigate whether it was natural or man-made and strengthen fire prevention. Simply burning incense and praying was useless.

What, next time if it burns again, will the temple’s Bodhisattva statues carry buckets of water to put out the fire?

“Did the Yuqing Zhaoying Palace burn badly?” Li Xizhang asked.

Li Xubai replied, “Badly. They say over two thousand rooms were destroyed.”

“That’s such a pity,” Li Xizhang sighed.

“It is,” Li Xubai continued. “So much silver wasted.”

Song Shiyu absently held her chopsticks, unusually quiet without arguing with Li Xubai.

Some mysteries that had baffled her last life now seemed to part the clouds, revealing a faint glimmer of truth through Li Xubai’s words.

“Sister-in-law, are you okay? Can’t eat? What do you want to eat? I-I’ll cook it for you,” Li Yunnuan asked worriedly, noticing Song Shiyu’s dazed expression and fearing her recovery was incomplete.

Song Shiyu snapped back to reality. “No, I’m fine.” She turned to ask Li Xubai again, “Second Brother, do you know when the Empress Dowager will return?”

Li Xubai took a bite and shook his head. “Me? How would I know?”

“Oh,” Song Shiyu responded.

Indeed, the Li family were mere commoners; how could they know the affairs of the royal family?

Yet, in her former life, as the granddaughter of Grand Tutor Gu, she should have known these things. Unfortunately, she had been too young and ignorant then, only playing and unaware, even as the Gu household fell.

Still, she vaguely remembered that when the Empress Dowager was worshipping at the Ten Thousand Buddha Temple, something happened that caused the Emperor to despise Grand Tutor Gu, eventually leading to the exile of his entire family.

What exactly happened last life, she had no memory of.

Heavy with thought, Song Shiyu ate the meal as if chewing wax.

Li Xubai and the others exchanged glances, unsure which word had struck a nerve and saddened Song Shiyu.

“This good food, and you won’t eat it. Such a beauty is hard to please,” Li Xubai muttered, watching her walk away in a daze.

At eleven, Li Xizhang was more understanding and comforted him, “Second Brother, Sister-in-law is pitiful too. The day she married in, gamblers barged in to collect debts, killing our father and elder brother. She never even entered the bridal chamber and has been a widow ever since.”

His voice lowered, tears falling sadly.

Li Yunnuan sobbed as well.

Li Xubai quickly soothed them, “Oh no, tears will spoil the food. Stop crying and eat.”

Li Xizhang and Li Yunnuan pushed aside their grief and quickly ate.

Li Xubai sighed inwardly.

No wonder Song Shiyu always wore a mournful face.

To force such a young maiden to live as a widow all her life was truly inhumane.

“Hey, am I the head of the family now?” Li Xubai suddenly asked.

Li Xizhang and Li Yunnuan, unaware of the full meaning, nodded together.

“Yes. After Father and Second Brother were buried, officials came and changed the household registration. Now you’re the head of the family,” Li Xizhang explained.

Li Xubai had an idea. When he had time, he would ask Song Shiyu’s plans. If she wanted to leave the Li family, he could write her a document freeing her.

After dinner, Li Yunnuan went to wash up in the kitchen, while Li Xubai returned to his room.

Though the rented courtyard was dilapidated, it had many rooms, so everyone could have their own.

“Second Brother, when you go to work tomorrow, help me find out something,” Song Shiyu pushed open the door, staring coldly at Li Xubai.

Li Xubai didn’t even look up. “Don’t know how to knock? If I were naked right now, Sister-in-law would be taking advantage.”

Song Shiyu sized him up disdainfully and sneered, “You? No shame, no meat on your bones. I think you’d be better off looking at a pig!”

“...”

Li Xubai felt as if a thousand arrows pierced his heart.

Not very hurtful, but extremely insulting.

He sprang up, firmly blocking the door to keep Song Shiyu out. “Is that how you ask for a favor? If I help you, I won’t be called Li anymore!”

Song Shiyu leaned close and whispered casually, “Li Xubai, whether you’re really a Li, you know. I know.”

Li Xubai was no fool and clearly understood her meaning.

But unfortunately for her, before and after transmigration, that was his name!

He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t change my name or surname. Wherever I go, I’m Li Xubai!”