Chapter Forty: The Old Daoist: You Had It Take Human Form Just to Slap My Face!

Watching his teacher curse like a sailor, Zhu Zhanhe was filled with confusion. He turned his head blankly to look behind him, finding nothing, and then examined himself, yet he could not find anything amiss.

"Teacher, Teacher! A monk shouldn't use foul language!" Zhu Zhanhe reminded him cautiously, watching his teacher stare at him with a look of utter astonishment.

"Hoo—" The old Daoist clearly froze after hearing Zhu Zhanhe’s words. Realizing his own impropriety, he let out a long, deep sigh, as if trying to exhale all the filth from his mouth.

"Immeasurable Heavenly Venerable... May the Daoist Ancestors protect me! May the Daoist Ancestors protect me!" After the long sigh, the old Daoist used the brush in his hand like a horsetail whisk and gave it a sharp flick. Ink splattered all over his sleeve, though he seemed not to notice. He hurriedly turned around, bowed deeply toward the portrait of the Daoist Ancestor hanging on the wall, and offered repeated apologies.

"Hoo—" With another long exhale, the old Daoist turned back to face his "inexpensive" student. His expression had calmed down significantly, though the shock in his eyes remained impossible to hide. Every time he looked at Zhu Zhanhe, he quickly averted his gaze.

"Tell me, what have you been up to these past ten days? You haven't come to see this old Daoist," the old man said, trying to maintain a calm tone, though the slight tremor in his voice betrayed his inner turmoil.

"Teacher, I haven't done much these past ten days. Just stayed at home, read some books, took some walks, that sort of thing. It’s been wonderful!" Zhu Zhanhe was surprised that his teacher was asking about his recent activities.

*I haven't done anything! I just spent my nights exploring the mysteries of life with two young maids.*

*And, well, I used the nighttime to track down a giant crocodile that had been missing for over a decade!*

*But I can't tell you that. Even if I did, you probably wouldn't believe me. It’s better to wait until my giant crocodile comes back so you can see it for yourself and be shocked!*

"Think carefully," the old Daoist said, watching his student. The boy’s eyes darted around, his mouth full of lies, and his face wore an expression of disdain that screamed, "I don't believe a word of your nonsense."

"Teacher, really, nothing. I just lost my virginity a few days ago; I haven't done anything else." Zhu Zhanhe maintained a "dead pig isn't afraid of boiling water" attitude, smiling and gesturing to the ink that had ruined the teacher's calligraphy, though the old Daoist ignored him.

"Do you think I'm easy to fool? You, lost your virginity? Look at you, full of vigor and vitality—is there any sign of someone who has just lost his virginity?" The old Daoist glared at him, completely unconvinced.

*Any man who has just lost his virginity should look weary and slightly drained. But look at you—you’re full of energy and radiating yang essence. Lost your virginity? Are you trying to trick me?!*

"Teacher, it's true. Why don't you take a closer look?" Zhu Zhanhe was speechless; nobody believed him even when he told the truth!

"Pfft. You... wait. Did you really lose your virginity? But why is your vital essence still so abundant? This is madness!" The old Daoist had been about to accuse him of lying again, but upon closer inspection, he saw the rich, romantic aura between the boy's brows—the unmistakable mark of having crossed that threshold.

However, Zhu Zhanhe’s abundance of vital essence was completely incompatible with that fact. The old Daoist was filled with doubt, even beginning to question himself: *Has my skill become so rusty?*

"Ahem, ahem. Tell me, what is going on?" The old Daoist stared at Zhu Zhanhe for a long time, pulling out a few strands of his own beard without finding an answer. Embarrassed, he coughed to cover his confusion and asked with genuine curiosity.

"Teacher, I just discovered it myself..." Zhu Zhanhe then explained his fourth superpower—the skill of effective fertility control—to the old Daoist.

"What? Isn't this just the 'Art of the Bedchamber'? I never taught you this, how do you know it?" The old Daoist stroked his beard, listening intently. The more he heard, the more wrong it felt.

*Everything you’re describing is Daoist bedroom arts. You know this? I don't remember teaching you this. Did you learn it on your own?* The old Daoist was filled with questions.

"Teacher, perhaps you forgot to teach me. But don't worry, I didn't need to be taught; I just knew it naturally!" Zhu Zhanhe, hearing the old man, also felt that it was identical to the Daoist arts and felt equally baffled. *Does this superpower recycle ancient techniques?*

"Nonsense! 'Knew it naturally'! If you knew everything naturally, why would I need to teach you Qigong?" The old Daoist didn't indulge his student’s narcissism for a second.

However, he felt he was missing something. He stared intently at Zhu Zhanhe’s face—a face as handsome as his own had been in his youth. After only a short while, he felt a sense of inexplicable fear and discomfort.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. *This brat is trying to divert my attention, almost letting himself get away with it!*

"Zhanhe, think carefully. What have you done in the last few days? Has anything strange happened to you or around you? Think hard. Tell me, and I will analyze it for you." Seeing that Zhu Zhanhe was hard to fool, the old Daoist decided to use a softer approach.

But the old man’s sudden gentleness made Zhu Zhanhe uncomfortable, and he shivered involuntarily.

"No, absolutely not!" Zhu Zhanhe waved his hands, feigning sincerity in an attempt to convince his teacher.

"Really nothing? That's a pity!" The old Daoist said, turning his back to Zhu Zhanhe.

*Nothing my foot! You brat, you think you can fool me?*

*I’ve seen more people than you’ve ever touched! Damn you! Still lying to me!*

*Nothing? How could there be nothing? I’m not blind!*

*You little brat, don't you see that since you walked in, I haven't even dared to look you in the eye?*

*Damn, I’ve lived nearly eighty years, and I’ve seen it all, but I’ve never seen anyone with dragon energy as potent as yours!!*

*I’ve spent decades cultivating my heart and mind, and yet looking at your face for a moment makes me tremble! If I stare too long, I’ll be overwhelmed! By the ancestors, and you say nothing has happened!*

*You little rascal, do you know you look even more terrifying than before? Previously, it was just an outward eruption of dragon energy, full of pressure.*

*Now, it’s suppressed and condensed! It’s almost becoming physical!*

*If you told me you were the reincarnation of the First Emperor of Qin or Emperor Wu of Han, I wouldn't even be surprised!*

*With this level of dragon energy, only the few emperors who left their names in history should possess it!*

*If this were ancient times, it would be the literal manifestation of the dragon!*

*With the way you are now, in a little while, I wouldn't be surprised if your dragon energy came out to slap my face!*

*You dare tell me nothing is wrong!*

*Come on! You brat, let your dragon energy manifest! Slap my face! Go ahead, slap me!*

The old Daoist was having a mental breakdown. He had never seen something so unreasonable. He had watched Zhu Zhanhe grow up; as a child, the dragon energy was scary, but now it was on the verge of taking physical form!

Before, when he was unhappy, he could stare at the boy with his wise eyes to intimidate him, but now, a moment of looking at him would scare himself! There was simply no logic to this!