Chapter 6

Pei Huaijin had seen Shen Zhiyi in her bold and unrestrained days. Looking at her now—cautious, timid, and prone to teary eyes at the slightest provocation—he sometimes wondered if he had truly been too harsh on her.

He reasoned that as long as she behaved herself, there was no harm in indulging her a little.

Tapping his fingers against the table, Pei Huaijin watched her from under lowered eyelids for a moment, before letting out an almost imperceptible sigh.

"There is no need to be like this. Three days from now is your sixteenth birthday. Is there anywhere you wish to go? I can take you."

Shen Zhiyi seemed surprised that Pei Huaijin would suddenly show such kindness. She stared at him in astonishment for a long while before she could finally bring herself to believe his words.

She lowered her gaze, her long lashes fluttering like delicate fans. A moment later, she looked up into his eyes, asking with a mix of trepidation and anticipation:

"Brother Huaijin, do you still remember my birthday three years ago?"

Three years ago, Shen Zhiyi had pestered him for so long that Pei Huaijin finally relented, promising to take her to view the plum blossoms in the grove outside the capital on her birthday.

Shen Zhiyi loved plum blossoms, though her second brother had long since planted a vast sea of them at the Shen estate for her to enjoy. Being wealthy and extravagant, the second brother had selected rare varieties seldom seen anywhere in the world. At that time, the Shen family’s plum garden was famous throughout the capital, and in winter, the invitations to visit never ceased. Even a three-year-old in the city knew that the Second Young Master Shen doted on his sister so much that he had created an unparalleled plum blossom forest just for her.

Having grown up seeing the finest blooms, the grove on the outskirts of the capital was, in truth, nothing special to Shen Zhiyi. Yet, because it was the place where she and Pei Huaijin had first met, it had become the most precious place in her heart.

On her birthday that year, before the sky had even brightened, Shen Zhiyi—who usually loved to sleep in—had scrambled out of bed to have Chun Dai dress her. Filled with a mixture of anxiety and excitement, she arrived early at the appointed tavern. But she waited from dawn until dusk, only to never receive any word from Pei Huaijin. The other patrons of the tavern slowly drifted home.

Three years ago, there had been a bandit outbreak in a neighboring county, leading to a curfew in the capital. Shen Zhiyi waited and waited, but even after the curfew hour passed, Pei Huaijin’s figure never appeared. The tavern owner happened to be closing up for the night, so Shen Zhiyi was ushered out.

The streets of the capital, under curfew, were cold and desolate. The location was far from the Shen estate, and she did not know the way. As the wind howled through the dark, lonely night, Shen Zhiyi curled up in a street corner, shivering in terror.

In the end, it was Xie Changyu, then commander of the City Defense Battalion, who discovered her asleep and weeping while he was out on patrol. He brought her to his temporary quarters, managed to keep her curfew violation quiet, and returned her to the Shen estate the following day, even concocting a story to deceive her father and brothers.

It was not until the evening of the third day that Pei Huaijin finally came to apologize in person. It was only then that Shen Zhiyi learned that while she had been curled up in a street corner with nowhere to go, he had spent the entire night by Qin Zhen’s side, accompanying her through her final moments.

Shen Zhiyi did not know how she should have felt at the time. She was clearly furious with him, yet when she saw the exhaustion on his face and the profound grief in his eyes, her heart ached for him. She told herself that Qin Zhen’s passing was a major event, naturally far more important than celebrating her birthday. She convinced herself that his failure to notify her was an unforeseen emergency and that he had, after all, come to apologize.

So, Shen Zhiyi forgave him.

She even felt conflicted, wondering if she was too dark-hearted, for at the very moment she heard that Qin Zhen had finally passed away, a shred of secret relief had emerged from the depths of her soul. She despised herself for it, yet could not help but feel a hidden joy.

Therefore, in the half-year after the Shen family’s downfall, she could not stop thinking about that incident, nor could she stop blaming herself, taking the total destruction of the Shen estate upon her own shoulders. More than once, she dreamt of Qin Zhen, and of her parents and brothers looking at her with eyes full of disappointment.

Shen Zhiyi felt a sting in her nose and hurried to snap out of the memory.

"I want you to accompany me to the plum grove on the outskirts for my birthday."

"…If that is possible," she added cautiously, observing his expression.

Hearing her unexpectedly bring up the matter, a ripple passed through Pei Huaijin’s eyes before they returned to calm. He nodded.

"Very well. At the third quarter of the hour of the Dragon three days from now, I will come to pick you up."

Perhaps because the mention of Qin Zhen’s passing three years ago still lingered, Pei Huaijin seemed distracted for the rest of their conversation, looking to leave before he had said much more. Shen Zhiyi hurried to rise to see him off. However, having been so absorbed in their talk, she forgot about her sprained ankle; the moment she stood, she gasped and stumbled to the side.

Fortunately, Pei Huaijin was quick; he spun around and grabbed her waist, steadying her. But the force of his movement was too great, and he accidentally pulled her straight into his chest. The impact caused Pei Huaijin to stumble as well, and he retreated several steps while shielding her, until they came to a halt against the door.

With a loud clatter, the door, which had been left slightly ajar, swung shut. Pei Huaijin’s temple throbbed, and he looked down, pushing the soft, delicate figure away from him.

"Can you stand?"

Reminded, Shen Zhiyi finally collected herself and hurriedly pulled away from his embrace, her fair face flushing a deep crimson.

"I—I apologize."

She realized she had been pressed against him. Ever since Pei Huaijin had Su An deliver the red charcoal, the room had become much warmer. To be comfortable, Shen Zhiyi had been wearing thin, loose clothing; after the sudden movement, as she stood up, her collar had slipped, hanging precariously off her rounded shoulder.

It was blindingly white.

Pei Huaijin averted his gaze, his prominent Adam’s apple bobbing as his voice turned slightly hoarse.

"Adjust your clothes."

Shen Zhiyi froze, looked down, and her eyes widened in shock. She scrambled to pull her collar shut, the flush on her face spreading to her ears until they were red enough to drip blood.

Pei Huaijin tilted his chin, leaning against the doorframe for a moment before standing up straight. His gaze fell upon her ankles, and he frowned.

"What is wrong with your foot?"

Hearing his tone return to its usual coldness, Shen Zhiyi quickly steadied herself and replied with a calm face:

"My leg went numb from sitting for too long. It is fine now."

"Is that so?"

Pei Huaijin looked into her eyes, holding her gaze for several moments before his tone chilled.

"Then get some rest. I will come for you in three days."

"You don't think—" Shen Zhiyi chased after him just as he stepped over the threshold. "—You don't think that I tripped on purpose just now, do you?!"

It was nearly the hour of the Rooster. The winter sun had dipped westward, casting cold, listless light onto the young girl’s face. The shyness that had covered her features was now replaced by a trace of stubbornness and resentment, like a silent accusation.

Pei Huaijin’s fingertips trembled. He held his gaze on her face for two breaths, his expression softening.

"No. Do not overthink it. Go back inside."

In the study of Zhengxuan Hall, Pei Huaijin picked up a document. He had barely turned two pages when Su An knocked and entered.

"Master, I have inquired."

Pei Huaijin did not even lift his eyelids.

"And?"

"This morning, the Second Miss Qin did indeed go to Begonia Pavilion."

Pei Huaijin gave a grunt of acknowledgment. "Continue."

Su An said, "The Second Miss Qin chose several bolts of fine fabric to send to Concubine Shen. Afterward, the two spoke for a while. Later, it seemed Concubine Shen wanted to leave, but she lost her footing and stumbled. The Second Miss Qin tried to reach out to steady her, but failed to catch her."

"Is that all?"

"That is all."

Pei Huaijin was silent for a moment. He finished writing the final character and set down his brush.

"I understand. You may go."

Su An said "yes," went to the rack to take down the outer robe the young master had changed out of, and was about to leave, clutching the garment, when he heard Pei Huaijin add:

"Have Su Yi take the clothes to be washed. You, take that bottle of medicine from my cabinet to Begonia Pavilion."

Su An paused, turned back, and responded. He went to find the medicine for bruises and contusions given by the Imperial Physician, all the while casting secret glances at his master. It was bizarre; since when did the Young Master care about affairs in Begonia Pavilion?

Su An had barely left when, before Pei Huaijin had read even two documents, Su Yi came to report that the Second Miss Qin had arrived.

Pei Huaijin did not look up. "Tell her I am handling official business."

"But..." Su Yi hesitated, then reported truthfully, "The Second Miss Qin is here on the order of the Madame to bring you soup."

Pei Huaijin’s hand, holding the brush, paused. He rubbed his brow.

"Tell her to wait in the side chamber."

After speaking, he glanced at the clepsydra under the window and set down his brush. "Never mind. Serve the meal."

As he walked out, Su Yi went to drape a heavy cloak over Pei Huaijin, but he stopped him with a wave of his hand.

"It is only a few steps."

Zhengxuan Hall was quite sprawling; although he said it was only a few steps, it still took half a cup of tea’s time to walk along the covered corridor. As soon as Pei Huaijin entered, Qin Yin bowed gracefully before him.

She kept her head slightly lowered, and from Pei Huaijin’s angle, he could see a small patch of skin exposed behind her collar. That skin looked as if it had been dusted with powder—white, smooth, and lustrous as jade under the glowing candlelight.

Pei Huaijin paused, his brows knitting almost imperceptibly. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Qin Yin is here today to ask for Brother Huaijin’s forgiveness."

"Rise and speak."

Pei Huaijin walked past her to wash his hands at the basin. His slender hands were well-defined, with a few faint blue veins visible beneath the skin, and droplets of water slid down his cold, fair complexion. Qin Yin pulled out a handkerchief from her waist and stepped forward to offer it, but Pei Huaijin had already used the towel on the rack.

Qin Yin pursed her lips, her gaze dropping, and a layer of crystalline mist appeared on her thick lashes.

"I know Brother Huaijin holds a grudge against me because of my visit to Begonia Pavilion this morning..."

"You are overthinking it. I do not—"

"I admit it. Sometimes, when I recall what Shen Zhiyi did to me in the past, I still feel a sense of injustice." Qin Yin interrupted him, raising her eyes to meet his gaze squarely, the moisture in her eyes shimmering like spring water. "But I, Qin Yin, was raised by my sister. She told me more than once that one must have a broad mind and be kind to others. My sister’s dying wish was for me to always be kind and generous. Therefore, despite how Shen Zhiyi treated me, I truly intended to make peace with her today."

Hearing her mention Qin Zhen, Pei Huaijin finally turned his gaze toward her.

Qin Yin wiped the corner of her eye with her handkerchief. "I do not feel I did anything wrong this morning. If there is a fault, it is only that when Concubine Shen accidentally tripped, I did not catch her in time, which led to her spraining her ankle..."

"Why should you be at fault if she tripped?"

The official Pei, who had once interrogated suspects for days without showing fatigue, now felt his patience wearing thin, terrified that she might start weeping in front of him again. "Enough. Dry your tears and sit down to eat. Which soup did Mother send?"

Upon hearing this, Qin Yin stopped crying and hurriedly lifted a blue-and-white porcelain jar from the table, placing it before Pei Huaijin. "The Princess was worried that you caught a chill last night, so she specially ordered this angelica and mutton soup to be stewed for you. Please, have a taste."

Pei Huaijin’s movement with the spoon paused. He glanced at the piece of mutton floating in the broth, which emitted a gamey odor, and calmly swapped his spoon for a pair of chopsticks.

"Very well. Leave it there. You should eat as well."

Qin Yin was still there, busily stirring the soup and specifically scooping up the mutton. Hearing this, she asked anxiously, "Brother Huaijin, will you not drink it now? If mutton soup gets cold, it becomes very gamey."

Pei Huaijin smiled. "And if it is not cold, does it not still smell gamey?"

Qin Yin froze. Seeing the flash of irony in Pei Huaijin’s eyes, she suddenly understood something. She immediately replaced the lid of the jar, thinking to herself how close she had come to disaster—thankfully, it had been sent in the Princess’s name. She had never known Pei Huaijin had such an aversion.

In an instant, Qin Yin suddenly remembered the past. In the past, at any banquet where mutton was served, Shen Zhiyi would always declare that she loved mutton, and every time, she would scramble and fight to eat the mutton from Pei Huaijin’s plate. Others at the banquet would whisper behind her back that Shen Zhiyi’s behavior was shameless and lacked all decorum...

Qin Yin gripped her jade chopsticks tightly, her heart beating violently against her eardrums. She cast a secret glance at the man beside her, and a thought she had never had before surfaced in her mind.

—Did he truly feel nothing at all for that kind of Shen Zhiyi?