Chapter Forty: These Couplets Are Toxic!
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From atop the canopied pavilion, the Empress Dowager watched Xie Ning, her sharp eyes narrowing slightly.
She could not fathom what sort of scheme Xie Ning had in mind.
But now that matters had come this far, she had no way back.
In the first round, Xie Ning had astonished everyone with his skill and left her utterly humiliated.
In the second, he had voluntarily conceded, allowing Yuwen Yue to win back a point, yet it had also left her feeling as though she had struck a fist against cotton—an indescribable frustration.
Now the third round would decide everything.
She had to win.
Although Xie Ning had demanded the right to set the challenge himself, all the literary officials of Great Qi were gathered here. If they still could not defeat him, she would have nothing left to say.
“Very well.”
The Empress Dowager spoke slowly, her voice cold.
“I shall grant your request. I would very much like to see what tricks this so-called antithetical couplet of yours can produce. If you lose, you will fulfill every wager made earlier!”
With those words, she had placed every stake on this final round.
“Of course.”
Xie Ning shrugged indifferently.
That was precisely the effect he wanted.
He turned around and swept his gaze over the indignant yet visibly uncertain scholars below. The corners of his lips curved upward.
He cleared his throat and announced in a ringing voice, “Everyone, listen carefully. My opening line is…”
He deliberately drew out the words, whetting everyone’s appetite.
Even Li Qingning could not help holding her breath, her beautiful eyes fixed intently upon him.
She had no idea what earth-shaking stunt Xie Ning was about to pull this time.
Then again, it seemed that whatever he did now would no longer surprise her.
Xie Ning paced two steps with his hands clasped behind his back. Then his gaze settled upon the gathered officials and venerable scholars, a playful smile upon his face.
“In one township and two villages stand three teachers; ignorant of the Four Books, Five Classics, and Six Arts, they nonetheless dare teach seven, eight, and nine pupils—truly, they are exceedingly bold!”
The moment the opening line was spoken, the entire imperial garden fell so silent that one could hear a pin drop.
Everyone was dumbfounded.
They stared blankly at Xie Ning as a buzzing filled their minds.
Was this… an antithetical couplet?
This was an outright insult hurled straight at their faces!
He had ingeniously woven all ten numbers, from one through ten, into a single line, creating a perfectly balanced scene brimming with boundless mockery.
One township, two villages, three teachers.
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Ignorant of the Four Books, Five Classics, and Six Arts.
Yet they dared teach seven, eight, and nine pupils.
That final phrase was the finishing stroke, bringing the arrogant, unrestrained scorn to vivid perfection.
The literary officials present felt their faces burning.
Did the three teachers in the opening line not refer precisely to these venerable scholars who styled themselves mentors of men?
“Pfft!”
The white-bearded old man who had earlier been angered half to death could endure no more. He spat out a mouthful of blood and toppled backward, stiff as a board.
“Minister Wang!”
“Quick, summon the imperial physician!”
The scene instantly dissolved into chaos.
Xie Ning, however, stood there smiling as though nothing had happened, watching it all with bright amusement.
He looked at Yuwen Yue, whose face had already turned the color of liver, and spoke at an unhurried pace.
“Young Master Yuwen, and all the officials present, I have finished giving my opening line. Now it is your turn to produce the answering line.”
Produce the answering line? To hell with that!
Everyone present felt their minds buzzing. The opening line was so ingenious, so vicious. Its imagery and numbers blended together flawlessly, while its mocking intent struck with overwhelming force.
How were they supposed to answer it?
The imperial garden once again sank into utter silence.
The scholars and venerable men who had been shouting indignantly only moments before, clamoring to teach Xie Ning a lesson, now resembled eggplants beaten down by frost. Every one of them had wilted.
They looked at one another, each waiting for someone else to speak, yet no one could utter a word.
Xie Ning’s opening line was nothing short of an insoluble riddle.
The numbers from one to ten had been woven into it naturally, without the slightest awkwardness.
More fatal still was the dense mockery contained within it, pressing down upon them like a mountain until they could scarcely breathe.
The answering line had to match not only the numbers and tonal pattern, but also the artistic conception.
The difficulty was practically greater than ascending to heaven.
“What is the matter? Does no one dare answer?”
Xie Ning glanced around, the smile on his face growing broader.
“In this vast Great Qi, all the finest literary talents under heaven have gathered here. Can it be that none of you can answer a mere opening line of mine? How disappointing.”
His words were nothing less than oil poured upon a blazing fire.
“You insolent brat, cease your arrogance!”
A middle-aged literary official who appeared to be in his forties flushed crimson and stepped forward.
“I shall give it a try!”
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He racked his brains and pondered desperately for a long while before finally forcing out a line.
“In ten villages and nine stockades dwell eight squires; ignorant of seven emotions, six desires, and five flavors, they yet seek to take four, three, and two concubines—utterly shameless!”
The moment this answering line was spoken, many of those present brightened.
It seemed… not entirely without merit.
The numbers ran backward, from ten to one.
The imagery also matched, at least passably.
Xie Ning merely glanced at the man and curled his lip.
“What nonsense is this? The tonal pattern is faulty, and the antithesis is clumsy. More importantly, your artistic conception falls short by ten thousand miles.”
“I was mocking men who presume to act as teachers despite being ignorant and unlearned. What exactly are you saying? Squires taking concubines? The two lines have nothing whatsoever to do with each other.”
“Next.”
Those few words stripped the middle-aged official bare. Overcome with shame, he wished he could crawl into a crack in the ground and disappeared miserably into his seat.
Once the first man had stepped forward, several more dissatisfied scholars gradually rose to make their attempts.
“A lone boat with twin oars crosses three rivers; gazing upon the four seas, five lakes, and six shores, one searches in vain for seven sages and eight saints—nine parts regret!”
“Not bad. There is some artistic conception, but the numbers are forced. Rejected.”
“One household, two sons, both three-time laureates; versed in the Four Books, Five Classics, and Six Arts, they command the seven tones and eight modes, and master the Nine Chapters on the Mathematical Art!”
“Not a bad answer. But please do not attempt another one next time. Rejected.”
Xie Ning was like an examiner, mercilessly dismissing every answer one after another.
His critiques struck straight to the heart of the matter, leaving the scholars who prided themselves on extraordinary talent flushed with embarrassment and utterly speechless.
Only then did they realize in horror that this supposed wastrel was not merely capable of composing masterpieces destined to be remembered for generations. Even in the supposedly minor art of antithetical couplets, his attainments were astonishingly profound.
Cold sweat had already covered Yuwen Yue’s forehead.
He stood there, his mind completely blank.
The talent of which he had been so proud was, before Xie Ning, no more than a child’s scribble—so childish that it was laughable.
He no longer even possessed the courage to try.
Above them, the Empress Dowager’s face had darkened until it seemed on the verge of dripping water.
She gripped the armrest so tightly that her fingernails had bitten into her flesh.
She could not understand how matters had come to this.
Where had this monstrous talent named Xie Ning suddenly emerged from?
Why did he seem capable of everything—and capable at a level so terrifying that it was utterly infuriating?
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