Chapter 43: Heart-to-Heart-Desastre na Grande Ming(Se houver algo estranho, não se assuste.)

Zhu Shuang looked at the meat pots arranged by the campfire in each barrack and smiled with satisfaction.

He pointed at Fat Liu and his group of cooks and said, "You hundred or so men have worked hard. Let the brothers serve themselves, sit down and eat. Come, sit next to me."

Fat Liu waved his hands and said, "You are a person of noble birth, you will bring bad luck to a lowly person like me."

Zhu Shuang poured a bowl of wine, handed it to him, poured a cup for himself, and said, "We've known each other for almost three years. You, Fat Liu, are big-headed and round-eared, and you often sneak food—you're no good, but this Prince recognizes you as a brother."

Zhu Shuang clinked his wine bowl against Fat Liu's and said, "If you recognize me as a brother, bottoms up."

Fat Liu drained his bowl with him. Looking at Fat Liu's flushed face, Zhu Shuang patted the fat on his cheek and asked, "In a couple of days, perhaps we will all be dead. Do you have anything you want to say?"

Fat Liu stiffened his neck and said, "A lowly man nearing forty, I have never met a commander as righteous as you. Even if I go to the underworld, I will follow the Commander and be your cook."

Hearing this, Zhu Shuang burst into laughter and said, "Everyone listen carefully, this fatty cannot go back on his word."

"And you brothers of the culinary squad, you have cooked for the grand army for three years, and you've taken the brothers' grievances for three years. With death staring me in the face, I, Zhu Shuang, have nothing to thank you with except draining this cup and pouring my words into the wine."

Several hundred men of the culinary squad held the wine cups poured full by the military law enforcement team. Zhu Shuang raised his bowl as a signal, and everyone drained it in one gulp.

"Being the Commander's cook in this lifetime is the greatest honor of our lives."

Zhu Shuang turned to look at Zhang Yu, who had been busy pouring wine for him, and told Fat Liu to bring men to fill a cup of tea for every soldier in the military law enforcement team.

Zhu Shuang cupped his fists and said, "Zhang Yu, you and the brothers of the law enforcement team have worked hard all this time. Because of you, the grand army has a military discipline as unyielding as mountains and as strict as the execution of orders. Since you cannot drink alcohol, you are specially permitted to use tea in place of wine. I pour all my gratitude into this bowl of wine."

Born into a military family, Zhang Yu was destined not to be a sentimental person, but at this moment tears streamed from his eyes as he said, "For this humble general to meet such a wise lord as Your Highness in this lifetime is already the greatest fortune of heaven. Even down in the netherworld, this humble general will follow Your Highness to cut down formations and capture flags."

"Bottoms up with this bowl of wine, and let us be brothers again in the next life."

Zhang Yu and everyone in the law enforcement team drained their cups.

Holding the wine jar, Zhu Shuang walked over to the personal guards and said in a clear voice, "Zhu Neng, you and the brothers will have to work hard guarding the grand army these past two days."

Zhu Shuang poured a cup of tea for Zhu Neng, who said with apprehension, "Commander, this is the duty incumbent upon this humble subordinate."

Zhu Shuang smiled and said, "Do you know why I poured tea specifically for you? Because if I unfortunately die in battle, my dying wish is to be buried together with the brothers. That way, when I set out on the road, I won't be lonely by myself."

Zhu Neng and all the personal guards immediately reddened around the eyes. Zhu Neng beat his chest fiercely and guaranteed, "As long as this humble subordinate lives another day, I will never let a single Yuan mongrel come near Your Highness's side."

Zhu Shuang shook his head and smiled at all the brothers around him, "Your personal guard team won't be able to prevent it, because in two days, as the grand army marches forward, I, Zhu Shuang, will be the very first vanguard. When the grand army retreats, I, Zhu Shuang, will cover the rear last. I will never let a single brother die before me."

Zhu Neng showed a troubled expression and said, "The battlefield is merciless with blades and arrows; Your Highness would do better to command from the center army."

With reddened eyes, Zhu Shuang patted him and said, "I am a son of the Zhu family. Ask the Deputy Commander if the Zhu family has any cowards who fear death."

Zhu Wenzheng said in a clear voice, "Your Commander is right. The men of the Zhu family only die in battle; there are none who cling to life out of cowardice."

Zhu Shuang added silently in his heart that that fellow Emperor Lizong of the Ming dynasty must not have been born of this family.

Zhu Shuang laughed heartily and said, "Drain this cup. You have guarded me for three years; in two days, I will guard you once."

Zhu Neng and all the personal guards drained their cups of tea.

Zhu Shuang then walked over to Qiu Fu. Among the sixty thousand troops, aside from less than ten thousand musketeers and artillerymen, almost all were cavalry.

Zhu Shuang had entrusted them all to Qiu Fu. He filled two bowls of wine, handed one to Qiu Fu, and said, "When I told you to study, you slacked off and played tricks. Do you know why I gave almost the entire grand army to you instead of anyone else?"

Rubbing his head, Qiu Fu chuckled and said, "Isn't it because Your Highness appreciates my talent and bravery?"

Zhu Shuang spat in disgust and cursed with a smile, "Bulls**t! I was hoping you good-for-nothing would go get yourself killed. But I've changed my mind—three days from now, I'm charging first. After I die, I want to watch you shameless wretch cry your eyes out until you die of grief."

Qiu Fu shook his head and said, "That won't do. With me around, it's not Your Highness's turn to charge first."

Zhu Shuang glanced sideways and said, "What's this? Care to follow me to the open ground and spar?"

"This subordinate admits defeat. Your Highness, please spare me."

Seeing the usually fierce Black Rakshasa Qiu Fu get deflated, the surrounding soldiers burst into loud laughter.

Zhu Shuang clinked bowls with Qiu Fu and drained his wine. He then walked past the campfires of each barrack, chatting familiarly with the soldiers in the companies.

After finishing the toasts with everyone—even though he was seasoned by alcohol from his past life, and even though the current wine was barely stronger than beer—he stood swaying among the grand army and pushed away Zhu Wenzheng, who tried to support him.

He shouted loudly, "Zhu Neng, carry out Your Highness's gear!"

The personal guards carried a huge coffin into the center. The previously bustling military camp instantly fell into dead silence.

Leaning on the coffin, Zhu Shuang patted the lid twice, burped from the alcohol, and wobbled as he said, "Not bad. It's just that a coffin this big is a bit wasteful for just me to sleep in."

Speechless, Zhu Wenzheng said, "Younger brother, you're drunk. Go back to your quarters and rest first."

Zhu Shuang kicked the coffin and said, "Who says I'm drunk? Brothers, I am a Prince, a Prince who hasn't even been assigned his fief yet, and I haven't even seen what my fief looks like."

"I haven't so much as forcefully seized a commoner's daughter—hell, I haven't even touched a commoner girl's hand, nor harmed the common people for a single day. And now I'm going to be buried together with you rough men? If I don't even have a coffin, those Yuan mongrels are bound to mock me: 'You, a Prince of the Great Ming, couldn't even afford a coffin!' This is my last shred of dignity. It's not too much for me to sleep in a coffin, is it, brothers?"

"Not too much."

"Your Highness, won't you be cold sleeping in such a big coffin? Do you need this humble subordinate to keep you company?"

Zhu Shuang pointed casually and said, "Chen Ergou, you dog, you're no woman, hurry up and crawl away from me."

Everyone burst into loud laughter.

Zhu Shuang flipped over to land on top of the coffin, drew the sabre at his waist, and danced it about drunkenly while saying:

"That old Toghon Temür is sending an army of six hundred thousand to take our dog lives."

"Six hundred thousand men! Why, even if they were six hundred thousand pigs, we couldn't finish catching them in ten days or half a month."

"The imperial court's grand army is bogged down in the mire, and I have marched deep into enemy territory alone, facing enemies from front and rear, with no provisions to sustain us and no reinforcements."

"Yet I have never been afraid for a single day. Do you know why? From the time I entered the enemy camp of one hundred thousand Yuan troops alone, that Koke Temür—meaning Wang Baobao—hung me from a flagpole and roasted me under the blazing sun for a full seven days. When I miraculously didn't die, I was thrown into the water to drown for two hours, and still I didn't die."

"He locked me up for a day and a night with that wolf king—the giant wolf in my camp—and I was completely fine, even ending up raising that beast like a dog. Then he dipped me in a wok of boiling oil to give me a hot bath. Wang Baobao got desperate and made one hundred thousand men go up the mountain to chop firewood, piling that firewood higher than the city walls of Nanjing, with flames licking higher than a two-story building."

"And me? Aside from having my eyebrows and hair singed, I was completely fine! Wang Baobao was so enraged he vomited blood and passed out for a month. If you don't believe it, you can ask the Mongol brothers in the main camp; at least ten thousand people witnessed what happened to me."

The Mongol soldiers in the Pacification Army camp recounted Zhu Shuang's bizarre adventures with pious expressions and vivid details. One person might be lying, but when over ten thousand people told the same story, there was only one possibility.

Before long, word of Zhu Shuang's miraculous deeds spread throughout the entire camp. With an incredulous look, Zhu Wenzheng said, "Younger brother's experiences are so bizarre, surpassing even those of our uncle."

As an atheist, Zhu Shuang felt quite awkward. Aside from the final fiery ordeal which genuinely threatened his life and had absurd circumstances, the rest involved a fair bit of luck and opportunism.

As for that inexplicable rain at the very end—was it real? It left him with a lingering question: could it be that because Old Zhu had randomly played matchmaker, he had genuinely snatched Fourth Brother's destiny of fortune?