Chapter 27: Happiness Is

"Uncle, what is happiness?" This question hit a blind spot in Li Jinglong's knowledge. To the ancients, being fortunate and blessed was happiness.

Zhu Shuang, with his hands behind his back, recited sonorously:
"Happiness is:
Someone to stand with me at dusk, someone to ask if my porridge is warm.
Someone to snuff the lamp with me, someone to share half a lifetime of books.
Someone to keep me company into the deep night, someone to share a cup of wine.
Someone to wipe away my longing tears, someone to dream of me and our past.
Someone to watch the stars with me, someone to wake me when the tea has cooled.
Someone to listen to my heartfelt words, someone to interpret the dreams in my heart.
Someone to treasure the words I leave unsaid, someone to fret over my lonely path.
Looking back at the desolate scene, someone is waiting where the lantern lights grow dim."

Li Jinglong pointed a finger at the sky in disbelief. Is this really the uncle who knows his way around brothels better than I do? Are you actually Liu Yong in disguise? Shall I yield the title of the Great Ming's supreme romantic to you?

The young soldier Li Jinglong had brought stood outside the hall, sobbing uncontrollably. Hearing the commotion, Zhu Shuang walked out and stared, puzzled, at the soldier, who had his head buried and was shielding his face with a pink handkerchief.

Something is wrong. Is Li Jinglong not right in the head? Did he bring a "kept boy" to my house?

Zhu Shuang pointed at Li Jinglong and scolded, "You little girl, it’s one thing for you to mess around, but are you turning my house into a courtesan’s den?"

Li Jinglong’s face turned the color of liver, and he retorted, "You—you can insult my talent, but you cannot insult my orientation, Li the Scholar! This person is the real deal, the eldest daughter of the Xu family!"

Only then did Zhu Shuang look closely at the thin, petite soldier. No wonder Minmin had glared at him before leaving; she must have thought he’d brought a lover home.

But he was innocent! The eldest Miss Xu before him was weeping like a willow in the rain, a picture of pure sorrow. Zhu Shuang was at a loss—who told him to hand her a "good person card" right in front of Li Jinglong earlier?

Based on past experience, nothing good ever came of a woman crying. He felt helpless. If Minmin came back and thought he’d done something to Miss Xu—and even dressed her in soldier’s garb—it wouldn't just be an "inferno in the backyard," it would be a case of a wife plotting to murder her husband.

Zhu Shuang awkwardly offered, "Don't cry, don't cry. How about I do a handstand for you?"

Xu Miaoyun, still hiding her face, broke into a giggle through her tears. "Is this how you coax women?"

"Uh, I usually act as a life coach." Zhu Shuang wanted to say he only talked about the physical, not the emotional, but then remembered Miss Xu was only fifteen. Better to play it safe.

"What is a life coach? Like a guide?" Xu Miaoyun asked curiously.

"It’s... a teacher who helps people clear their doubts."

"I have learned much."

Zhu Shuang grumbled, "Can you take your hands down? You keep talking through your handkerchief, people might think I’m some kind of filthy creature."

"My makeup is ruined. It is against etiquette to be seen in such a disheveled state."

Zhu Shuang felt stifled. Seeing her walk toward the main hall while still shielding her face, he saw her trip over the threshold and quickly stepped forward to steady her.

"Thank you," Xu Miaoyun whispered, blushing.

As soon as she entered, Li Jinglong hurriedly feigned an urgent need to use the latrine. Zhu Shuang sighed, "No outsiders now."

Xu Miaoyun lowered her hands, looking around like a curious child, then quickly covered her face again, shyly saying, "This is the first time I have seen my future husband, and to look so bedraggled—it is truly mortifying."

"This is our second time meeting."

"Childhood play does not count."

Zhu Shuang felt numb. He went to the kitchen and brought her a basin of clean water. He thought about getting her a set of Minmin’s clothes, but after careful consideration, he decided against it; with the mistress of the house absent, he didn't want to die young.

Zhu Shuang placed the basin and a new towel on the table beside her and went into the courtyard. He picked up a two-hundred-pound stone lock and began to exercise.

He hadn't been a fitness fanatic in his previous life, but thanks to his master, the Chan Master Mu Jiang, he had broken his habit of sleeping in and become a disciplined sigma male.

The massive stone lock moved like a weapon in his hands, whistling through the air. After a while, he was sweating, so he took off his outer robe and picked up a long spear from the weapon rack, performing a set of unknown spear techniques—unknown because the old monk never gave them a name.

Xu Miaoyun, having washed her face and removed her makeup, watched quietly from the side. Seeing the spear move like a dragon, she couldn't help but exclaim, "As graceful as a swimming dragon, as startling as a soaring swan."

Zhu Shuang finished the set and took the towel from her, not caring that he was shirtless. He asked directly, "How does this compare to General Xu?"

Xu Miaoyun replied bluntly, "In terms of battlefield formation, my father wins. But in a duel, he wouldn't last ten rounds against you."

Zhu Shuang asked again, "And compared to General Chang?"

Zhu Shuang knew Chang Yuchun was the fiercest warrior of the age, his skills honed through decades of slaughter. Even though Zhu Shuang was a novice, it didn't stop him from having dreams.

Xu Miaoyun hesitated. "Does my husband want the truth or a lie?"

"Uh, and the lie is?"

"If my husband can last fifty rounds, he will surely win."

"And the truth?"

Xu Miaoyun said shyly, "Duke E could kill my husband with a single arrow."

*You little... you certainly know how to compliment someone.*

Zhu Shuang muttered, "Although we have a betrothal, it wasn't our choice. I am three years older than you; why don't you just call me 'Brother'?"

"But... Brother Prince of Qin."

Xu Miaoyun’s voice was soft and sweet, with the unique elegance of a Jiangnan woman.

Zhu Shuang, who was half-reclined while lifting the stone lock, went limp. The lock tilted, and he nearly crushed himself.

It was just like the Queen of the Women's Kingdom calling the monk "Brother Royal," no man could withstand that.

"Brother Prince of Qin, why are you ignoring me?" Xu Miaoyun asked, seeing him cover his ears.

"Stop calling me that, I'm scared."

"Why won't you let me call you Brother Prince of Qin?"

"Why won't you look at me?"

"My god, are you a demon? I'm afraid you'll eat me!" Zhu Shuang clutched his head and ran like the wind to the stone table in the courtyard.

Behind him, Xu Miaoyun bit her handkerchief and giggled. "What a strange quirk."

She hopped over to his side like a cheerful little rabbit.

She saw Zhu Shuang chugging strong tea from a pot, muttering a mantra to clear his mind: *Wait three years, wait three years.*

He felt no guilt toward Minmin because she was two years older than him, but Xu Miaoyun was still just a child!

"Brother Prince of Qin..."

Every time she said it, Zhu Shuang shivered.

Xu Miaoyun covered her mouth and snickered like a fox who had stolen a chicken. "Does my husband still say he doesn't like me?"

Zhu Shuang stiffened his neck. "Impossible. Absolutely impossible."

"My husband is so stubborn. When I call you that, you clearly like it deep down."

Zhu Shuang suppressed his urges, desperately wanting to retort that he wasn't just stubborn.

A burst of laughter interrupted him.

"Oh, so my husband and the little sister are here. You made me search for you."

Minmin had returned from shopping with Nurse Wu, carrying bags full of items. Zhu Shuang hurriedly went to take them.

"I, Xu Miaoyun, greet you, Sister Minmin." Xu Miaoyun bowed gracefully.

Minmin looked Xu Miaoyun over and praised, "Knowledgeable, gentle, and quiet. Even dressed as a man, her natural beauty cannot be hidden. A rare beauty indeed."

Xu Miaoyun replied modestly, "Sister has both the tenderness of a woman that makes one pity her and the heroic spirit of a youth in her brow. Sister is the true peerless beauty of this world."

"Oh, you flatter me. My Prince is unlettered, crude, and vulgar; how could he be worthy of a scholar like you?"

"Sister is too modest. A true gentleman like Brother Prince of Qin is someone many women would give their lives for. It is I who am unworthy of Brother Prince of Qin."

"Sister, take my advice. With your looks and talent, you could easily be the Crown Princess. Don't waste your life on this dissolute Prince and his filth."

"Sister, with your beauty, you could easily be the Empress of the Great Yuan. Since you don't care for it, why not yield that position to me?"

Zhu Shuang, caught in the middle of the battlefield, felt his brain overheating. Watching his two wives go at each other, he couldn't help but sigh: are women born as masters of psychological warfare?