Chapter 21: Famous Generals at War

"Stop it, all of you!"

Li Shimin’s dragon eyes widened, and his majestic voice echoed through the side chamber, making the ears of those present ring. These two beloved generals were men of passion, but bickering like common street urchins was truly beneath their dignity.

"What is the meaning of two great generals squabbling like this?" He furrowed his brows, his gaze heavy with authority and dissatisfaction as it fell squarely upon Cheng Yaojin and Yuchi Jingde. "You two are the pillars of my empire, peerless in bravery, having secured glorious victories for the Great Tang."

"Cheng Yaojin, you possess both courage and strategy. Though you appear reckless, you are actually shrewd beneath your rough exterior. That ferocity you display on the battlefield is unrivaled; you are a veritable god of war."

"Yuchi Jingde, you are both loyal and valiant, with martial skills that have protected me countless times. Your prowess is the pride of the military. But to act in such a manner today—how can I show my face to the world?"

Li Shimin’s sudden reprimand left Cheng Yaojin and Yuchi Jingde like ducks gripped by the neck; they fell silent at once. They looked like two scolded children, having momentarily forgotten that the former Emperor—oh, no, the current Emperor—was still standing there. They hung their heads, not daring to draw a full breath, listening only to Li Shimin’s stern lecture.

Yuchi Jingde looked aggrieved, his lips trembling slightly as he muttered, "Your Majesty, that is a campaign worth fifty million coins!" A longing light flickered in his eyes, as if that campaign were the most precious treasure of his life. "If I, Yuchi Jingde, were allowed to lead it, I could die without regrets!" His voice rose with a trace of determination. "If I cannot fight this battle, I shall go to my grave with my eyes wide open!"

Hearing this, Cheng Yaojin, not to be outdone, chimed in aggrievedly, "Me too!" His fan-like hands rubbed the corners of his robe incessantly, his eyes filled with yearning for the great battle.

Li Shimin shook his head helplessly at his two old brothers and rubbed his forehead. "I know, I know. A campaign worth fifty million coins—let alone you, I don't even dare to imagine it!" A bitter trace of memory flashed in his eyes. "Think about it, you two. What haven't I experienced in my life? After finally conquering the world, every time I spend a little money, I have to be pointed at and lectured by that old fogey Wei Zheng!" He wore a wry smile. "What joy is there in being an emperor like this?"

Li Shimin paced slowly through the chamber. "Think carefully, both of you. Has my life not been hard?"

Yuchi Jingde and Cheng Yaojin pondered this and realized it was true. Yuchi Jingde, feeling indignant on Li Shimin’s behalf, recounted a story. "Your Majesty, I remember once when you were out bird-watching. You ran into that old man Wei Zheng, and you were so afraid he’d scold you that you hid the bird inside your robe." He mimicked Li Shimin’s actions as he spoke. "And that old scoundrel was full of malice! He kept reporting on trivialities for an entire hour! By the time he left, the bird in your robe had been smothered to death!"

Yuchi Jingde’s face was full of fury. "I was absolutely livid back then! Your Majesty is the dignified Emperor of the Great Tang—what is wrong with bird-watching?"

Li Shimin nodded in satisfaction, a hint of comfort in his eyes. "It is good that you understand my plight. I have always kept your loyalty in my heart. Yuchi Jingde, you are upright and have never spoken a cross word to me." He turned his gaze. "Cheng Yaojin, you are simple and lovable, my source of joy. But do not be so willful this time."

He straightened his back, his expression turning firm. "My meaning is clear: I have spent half my life fighting, can I not enjoy myself now? None of you are going on this expedition alone—I must go myself!"

***

Upon hearing Li Shimin's words, Yuchi Jingde and Cheng Yaojin widened their eyes in disbelief. But Cheng Yaojin soon relaxed, scratching his head with a grin. "Your Majesty, you have already 'passed away' to the public—how can you lead troops into battle? Leave this opportunity to me and Brother Yuchi!"

Li Shimin smiled confidently, a trace of cunning in his expression. "Li Ji, when you set out, give me the identity of a personal guard. It shouldn't be a problem for me to tag along, right?"

Li Ji sensed something amiss. He furrowed his brows and bowed hurriedly. "Your Majesty is of golden value; if you were to risk yourself on the battlefield..."

Li Shimin waved a hand dismissively, cutting him off. "Li Ji! Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. I am the General of Tiance." He patted his chest proudly. "Understand?"

Realizing that Li Shimin had even invoked his title as the General of Tiance, Li Ji had no choice but to swallow his concerns. "It is, of course, possible, Your Majesty!" He sighed helplessly, lamenting his fate internally.

Li Shimin patted Li Ji’s wrinkled hand with a smile. "Li Ji, you’re really getting a bargain this time!" His eyes sparkled with excitement as if he had already seen the victory. "You can rest in the main tent; I will handle the command for you, and I guarantee this battle will be fought beautifully! The credit will be all yours! I’ll be working for you—you should be secretly delighted!"

Listening to Li Shimin’s brash claims, Li Ji could only agree repeatedly out of respect for the Emperor's status, though he sighed incessantly in his heart. If the Emperor was going to interfere, would he, the designated commander, be nothing more than a spectator?

Having achieved his goal, Li Shimin was satisfied, his lips curling into a smile like a child who had just received a favorite toy.

Yuchi Jingde and Cheng Yaojin, seeing that the Emperor had joined, rushed over to grab Li Ji’s arms.

"Brother Li, why don't you take me along too? If the Emperor is going, it wouldn't be right for me, Yuchi Jingde, to stay behind! The Emperor and I are a golden duo!" Yuchi Jingde looked at Li Ji expectantly. "The Prince of Qin wields the bow! Yuchi Jingde wields..."

"Go away!" Cheng Yaojin interrupted. He curled his lip in disdain. "Blacky, I’ve heard those words a thousand times! Aren't you tired of them?" He patted his own chest. "Brother Li, have you heard of the Thirty-Six Heavenly Axes? Unfortunately, I only know the first three—they were taught to me by an immortal in a dream." He spoke with great flair, as if he were truly a lucky soul chosen by the heavens. "Most people couldn't see them even if they wanted to. If you take me along this time, I’ll be sure to open your eyes!"

"Enough! You 'Devil King of Chaos,' with your 'Thirty-Six Heavenly Axes'!" Yuchi Jingde retorted mercilessly. "Bah! That’s just because your skills are mediocre, and you’ve blown your three best moves into something divine!" He pointed at Cheng Yaojin’s nose. "What kind of strength do you even have?"

"Enough, stop arguing! We are all brothers!"

***

With a shout from Li Shimin, both men fell silent. Li Ji, finally relieved, let out a long breath and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.

"Both of you shall come with me and satisfy your cravings. For a battle worth fifty million coins, it would be worse than death for you two not to witness it!" Li Shimin looked at them with a smile. "Li Ji, it’s no problem to bring three extra personal guards, is it?"

Li Ji felt his head throbbing as if countless ants were crawling inside. "As you wish, Your Majesty!" he replied weakly.

Having achieved their goal, Cheng Yaojin sat down, looking puzzled. He scratched his head. "This makes no sense. I submitted three petitions to fight, so why did the Emperor choose you, Li Ji?" He stared at Li Ji with suspicion, his gaze like two sharp swords that made Li Ji uncomfortable.

Yuchi Jingde then realized something and widened his eyes in disbelief. "Old Cheng, you only submitted three? I wrote six! And the Emperor didn't choose me!" He began pacing in circles, fuming.

Hearing them both refer to Li Chengqian as "Your Majesty," Li Shimin could only cough twice to maintain his dignity. The cough sounded particularly abrupt in the quiet room, but unfortunately, the two blockheads seemed not to hear it.

"Li Ji, how many did you write?" Cheng Yaojin and Yuchi Jingde asked in unison.

Li Ji’s face flushed red, the veins on his forehead bulging like small green snakes. He argued, "Submitting a petition to fight cannot be counted as... writing! For a warrior, can such things be called writing?" Then followed some unintelligible babble about "a general being poor" and "fighters," and everyone in the room burst into laughter, filling the air with merriment.

...

Fang Xuanling, seeing Li Ji stuttering like this, showed him no mercy. He squinted his eyes and said quietly, "Li Ji sent over a whole stack. I counted them—thirty-two petitions to fight!" He wore a "kind" smile, though it carried a hint of mockery.

...

"By the way, Xuanling, is there anything else? The Xueyantuo raiding the borders can hardly be considered a major event, can it? Why does it feel like the sky of the Tang is about to collapse?" Li Shimin asked curiously, tilting his head.

At this, Fang Xuanling’s expression turned solemn. "Tibet may be about to go to war with the Tang!" His voice was low and heavy, like a boulder pressing on everyone's heart.

The four of them had been drinking all day and were completely unaware of the news regarding Tibet. Fang Xuanling shook his head helplessly, his face filled with worry.

Li Shimin was even more confused. He rubbed his chin and fell into deep thought. "Tibet wants to go to war with us? That makes no sense! Didn't their envoy pass my six marriage-seeking tests last year, becoming a famous tale of friendship?" A trace of bewilderment appeared in his eyes. "I have already agreed to Princess Wencheng entering Tibet to deepen our friendship, so why are they still not satisfied?"

As he spoke, Li Shimin’s tone turned cold, and a chill flickered in his eyes like a winter wind. "Those who are not of our kin will always have different hearts. It seems I have given the Tibetans too much face!" His fists clenched involuntarily. "To think these Tibetan barbarians want to take an inch and ask for a mile!" He stomped his foot. "I will make them realize that the Tang of today is not the Tang of the past!"

An imposing aura radiated from him, like a lion about to roar.